Why guys have harder time in getting a girlfriend while for girls it is the easier to get a boyfriend?

Right. i have never had a girlfriend, while for girls it is easier to get a boyfriend. what is the clue? why life is unfair? why girls get guys easily than guys get girls?
I challenged my crush, several years ago, who rejected me, that i would get a girlfriend sooner than she will get a boyfriend. she got a boyfriend in few days, after that challenge, like i am still single right now. an example for that...


Most Helpful Girl

  • Everyone thinks that they have it so hard. Just when there is some reason why this doesn't make sense then we get in to "where are all the good ones"? I can't even tell you how many myTakes I've written about relationships and both men and women complain about what their pickin's are or how much harder it is for them.

    Meeting someone and the chance that they'll dig you is a risk, and you have to go through several heartbreaks and rejections to get to that person. Anyone who lucks out at 15 years old at dating and remaining with someone for life is a freak occurrence.

    When someone is pressured that they should have been in a relationship by now, we can thank previous generations who all got married by the time they were 21, and starting to have kids the year after they were married. Now, it just isn't like that.

    Younger people are thinking more about their protection, their security, their careers, and more than ever - the rejection of marriage and for many the rejection of relationships. Part of this is because my generation who had you guys all screwed up and got divorced for the dumbest reasons and now my generation have kids with negative views about relationships in general. People aren't so eager to jump in to dating, and now we have this new born Friends with Benefits social-epidemic going on. But as we are wired to try and find someone, people are pushing everyone away too easily now. Our own society has made everyone so fickle that we just think no one wants to date *us*. Wrong. It seems no one is making it clear they want to date anyone but says they do.

    Just keep trying, you'll find a girl that has slipped through the cracks amidst all this social and dating-stunting behaviour that's happening now. It's taking people a lot longer our of their teens to meet people and you're not the only person who is having this issue. Girls are too, so I'm not convinced that they have an easier time as more men in their 20s in general are pushing a lot of women away now, mostly because of radical MGTOW thinking that has vilified women, pressuring many men from keeping them way from women altogether. What sort of message does this give women now? Especially the ones doing nothing wrong? Of course people are going to be guarded.

    Anyway, good luck, she'll come around when you least expect it, I'm sure.

    • Very great response and I agree. As far as the example of people getting together at 15 and lasting forever being a freak occurrence, it is definitely true. The majority of those relationships just don't last. For instance, I got with my kids' dad at 16 and we lasted 13 years. This is very common, but we all like to think we'll be one of the lucky couples. Our judgements aren't the greatest in our teen years, but we don't want to believe we are wrong. In my case, I can look back and say that I was pretty dumb and I am glad we didn't last. I definitely should have listened to my parents. Of course, I wouldn't have my kids and I wouldn't give them back for the world. On the other side of the spectrum as a very rare occurrence, my aunt married her husband at the age of 14 and is still married to him today at the age of 73. Their love is one that I admire and aspire to have, even if it takes a while to achieve.

    • Something i think about now that i'm back in the dating pool is the "next best thing" mentality people have given the online dating and the on your phone apps available.

      Very rarely do people meet and feel that "magic spark." People i feel tend to need a little bit of time together and as they spend more time.. they grow together and thing intensify from there (bonding). However.. i do feel that's slowly being stripped away as more and more people are quicker to think "that was okay... maybe i ca

      Costco is a good example of the "power of choices." If Costco offers 3 choices of Jelly... it's very easy for the consumer to make a choice as which of the 3 is best for them. However.. when presented with 10-15 choices.. often the consumer is displeased with their choice because they aren't sure if that was the right one making them feel less confident of their decision.

      This goes for dating as well.. often it goes:

      - no
      - maybe
      - Maybe
      - no

      "Ah screw it all i don't know

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What Girls Said 38

  • Plain and simple - women have more options because we are more sexually sought after. We're also conditioned to be pursued, not to be the pursuers, so that plays into it as well.

    Don't get confused though. We don't necessarily get BOYFRIENDS easier, we do however get GUYS easier. As in, more men will approach us, try to have sex with us or even try to court us - but that doesn't necessarily mean all of these guys will become boyfriends.

  • These generalizations will get you nowhere.
    From the first sentence - you got it wrong.

    If you continue thinking like this - you won't be as successful as you could be. Not all people you meet are taken, and it's not true that more girls than guys are taken.
    The mere fact that there are more women than men on Earth will tell you there are more single women than men...

    • no i am not talking about that. girls are single because they might be hard to get while guys are easier. why?

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    • No, I'm not projecting them onto you. I'm talking to you about them. I already apologized to you, personally.

      It makes me feel really bad though, when my words can't be understood

    • @M_A_X Could you just sum up in 3 sentences the point you're trying to make and I'll try to give you my perspective on it or help you if I can.

      (The way you went on about trying to explain women blocking you and not wanting to talk to you was kind of like a rant I didn't quite get.)

      Just plane and simple: What's the problem?

  • This really isn't true... It's more common for a guy to not want to get into a relationship than it is for a girl. I've been on countless dates, and no guy has ever wanted to take it further than casual sex.

    • I don't think that's true. Maybe the guys you want a relationship with don't want relationships but many guys want relationships with women who don't want relationships. There's usually a select group of people that many people want and so they have the luxury to not want anyone. Relationships become more appealing when you don't feel like you can have anyone you want. And the people who just want sex will feel differently when they get hit with love or loneliness. It's nit static and it's complicated. There's no such thing as women of men wanting one thing more than the other sex bc there are too many variabilities and extenuating circumstances that can not be measured by numbers.

    • You can say you've had difficulty getting relsyionshios you wanted just like this guy has had difficulty. But neither your exoeriejce nor his follows that the other sex gas it easier.

    • The one objective difference is guys are encouraged to talk as if they just want sex are discouraged to talk as if they want love. For women the opposite is discouraged and encouraged. But that only creates verbal bias. None of that speaks of how anyone feels acts or goes after what they want.

  • Says who? I know plenty of girls who've never even had a boyfriend. I know plenty of girls who haven't dated in years, myself included. It's not just a guy thing.

  • Ita CU no guy will turn down a girl because they want sex...

    But every girl will turn down a guy Cu we just don't need to get it in.

    Relationships take time.

    Just go with thi gs and put ur self out there

    But always know...

    Looks capture the eye but personlaity captures the heart!

  • Dont compete with anyone, everyone has their own way of doing things. She might have gotten a boyfriend earlier than you, but maybe you might get someonehard to get but more longterm than hers. She mightbe more social than you, or experience in this field.

    Everyone has a place in this world and will find people who like them somehow.

  • That's illogical. If a girl has an easy time finding a boyfriend, and 300 million girls have boyfriends, then 300 million boys also have girlfriends, how is it easier.

    Men and women both have roughly equal difficulty or ease finding partners. The same factors apply to both: confident people have an easier time than shy or timid people. Secure people have an easier time than insecure people. Outgoing people have an easier time than wallflowers. People who engage with others have an easier time than people who don't.

    So a confident, secure, outgoing man will find partners much more easily than a shy, timid, insecure woman and vice versa.

    The guys who think women have it easier than men tend, in my experience, to be shy, timid, insecure guys.

    • I'm a girl, and I do think women have it easier. The majority of girls will date a minority of guys (the most desirable ones), because getting into a relationship doesn't mean you'll never get out of one. As such, many girls will date the same small groups of guys.

  • You really think that? Every guy I've asked out I've been rejected. That's 6 times. No guy ever flirts with me or asks me out. It's not easier for girls to get boyfriends. Well if you look like a supermodel maybe but if you're hideously ugly like me you'll never have a boyfriend.

  • It's never been easy for me to get a boyfriend. Especially now, I get overlooked by guys all the time...

    • you are hot by the way

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    • because they do not have balls to approach you

    • I think most of my friends are better looking than me :( lol there's one girl that I always go out with in particular, and guys are always approaching her and complimenting her and stuff. She's gorgeous. They just ignore me every time and they are always saying things to her like "You are beautiful. If I could take you as mine I sure would." And i'm just standing there while she gets hit on lol

  • ***only pretty girls have it easier.

    Ugly chicks are screwed as much as you are.

    • Not really. Even ugly girls can just make the first move and there's always someone who will take them.

    • For sex, sure. For a solid relationship? Not at all. Girls are judged more by their physical appearance than anything else.

  • Life is unfair because life is unfair, but you think girls get guys more easily because you're a guy. And all the lonely girls think guys get girls more easily. I think girls may find it a lot easier to get NSA sex but both guys and girls find it challenging to find someone who really wants to be with them.

    • Agreed !! I'm staying single once I've sorted divorce issues out , dating for 40 somethings = soul destroying nightmare !!

  • It is just as hard for women! Just as you are selective about who you partner up with, women are too! Do not pretend you are not a bit choosy! I am sure everyone has had that friend who wanted to be more than a friend that you just were not feeling.

  • Personally I struggle with guys liking me, I know I am young but I have never had a guy like me in anyway at all and whenever I tried to be nice to someone I like I just get ignored so I dunno maybe it's just the area you are

  • If you are stupid enough to think it's easier for girls, then that is why it is hard for you to get a girlfriend

  • I don't find this completely true I'll be 19 in a little over a month and I've been single.. forever. So getting guys really isn't as easy as it looks, she may have just gotten lucky.

  • un true 1. 2 males out number females in the world 3 girls dont like hearing about life is so easy for them 4 u prob have never tried

  • Women have ALWAYS been the choosers.
    From a biological point of view it makes sense
    Woman have the womb and give birth to only one to a few kids at a time.
    Men can impregnate anyone really fast so women HAVE to be picky. They can't just get pregnant with just anyone say, a crackhead. We're picky to prevent having crack babies and things like that.

    You see it in the animal kingdom all the time. The bird has to break his legs off trying to impress the lady bird only for her to go uummmm... NOPE! Next! The male stags have to fight each other. The peacock has to display its beautiful feathers and out beautify the next guy. Just the way it is.

    • that means we have to fight and die for yo and stay safe and talk about equality. do you think you are great now.

    • I'm not a feminist. I think when men fight to keep us safe it's beautiful and romantic *sigh*

    • Upvoted , Batemans principle in action , plus men outnumber women , by a large margin in some places & mainly younger age groups.

  • @Ozanne false in many ways. As a girl, I acknowledge that it's much easier for us to find a boyfriend.

    • There's just so many reasons for this. Bateman's Principle is behind me on this one.

    • Thank you !! Exactly , even an unattractive , mediocre woman has men on tap if she so chooses , all because the female of any species ( apart from say seahorses ) has the primary & most important & taxing reproductive role. I have witnessed this first hand at the birth of my 2 children. Plus there are considerably more younger men than women due to the male heavy birth ratio

  • Quite honestly, dating is hard for everyone. Anyone who thinks otherwise is blind to the truth. If dating were truly easy for women, there would be no "Why doesn't he like me?" or "How do I get a boyfriend?" or "I'm (age) and have never had a boyfriend - what's wrong with me?" questions. And there are plenty of those.

    Stop thinking that you're a poor sad muffin whose life sucks and will never improve, because that is just categorically untrue. You have the power to change the way you interact with people. Perhaps your issue is that you don't show interest in people who may be interested in you. Perhaps you're oblivious to people who are flirting with you.

  • Someone is butthurt AF. Get over it dude don't act like if everyone has it better than you😒.

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What Guys Said 37

  • How do you know that it is easier for a girl to get a boyfriend?

    • because guys get more rejections than girls

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    • I didn't say that we don't have a right to reject girls. You said girls don't get rejected as much as guys do. I am asking you questions to try to point out that you really have no idea what it is like to be a girl just like a girl has no idea what it I like to be a guy, so you trying to compare the two is rather silly.

    • 1. guys are down for sex immediately while girls are not...
      2. More guys have these friendzone problems than girls
      why you think girls are just as easy as guys?

  • Believe it or not, a lot of girls don't have a boyfriend and wished they did. You're most likely thinking of a super hot girl. Good looking dudes get asked out often as well.

    • not true. depend on a girl. all girls are different in choosing guys. my friends are hot looking, but they are not successful in getting a girlfriend...

  • If you think it's hard for a guy to find a girl, then you should try living a month in the life of a plain average or below average shy girl, and just try to find a guy you actually want to be with.

    We have to be sensitive to "language" when we speak, so that we are crystal clear about what exactly it is that we're communicating about. When you say it's hard for you to find "a girl," do you mean "anything that's a human female?"

    Because I have news for you, there are a lot of fat and ugly females on Craigslist that are just dying to find a man... any man (despite them saying that "just any man" will not do, and they're not like that, but yet here they are, on Craigslist). So, if you just want to find a human being that was born with a vagina, they're out there. In fact, more human beings are born with vaginas than they are with penises. So, the odds are already in your favor.

    Oh, what's that? You don't just want "any female?" Oh, silly me. And here I was thinking that anything female that walks and talks would be good enough for you, because well, you know, you're a guy. I'm so sorry.

    So, what you "meant" to say is that you actually want a female that you actually like, and find attractive, and want. Oh! Quite the picky and selective type, are we?

    Okay, so, do you think women "just want 'A GUY, ANY GUY'"? In other words, do you think that you're the only one that's selective, but any guy that walks a woman's way will do? You "must" be thinking that way, based on your statement. Let's take a look at it one more time:

    "Why guys have harder time in getting a girlfriend while for girls it is the easier to get a boyfriend?"

    Let's dissect it:

    "Why guys have harder time in getting a girlfriend" (i. e., a girl he actually wants to be with)


    "while for girls it is the easier to get a boyfriend?" (i. e., a guy that gives her attention)

    Remember, just because a girl is "in a relationship" with a guy, doesn't mean that he was her "ideal" or even "first round draft pick." That's okay, because statistically, life doesn't work that way. To live is to settle, or as the Rolling Stones say, "You don't always get what you want." But, early on in a girl's dating career, she "REALLY" doesn't get what she wants, but she's still dating anyway, just to avoid feeling lonely, unloved, and to build her self-esteem.

    You (as a boy) "could" do that also. You just "choose" not to.

    • I never thought of it like that before. I see girls dating guys that they dont exactly find attractive but do so because of a variety of reasons. Some dont know how to say no, some dont want to be lonely, maybe he was the only guy who ever gave her attention.

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    • Being a shy guy is infinitely worse because guys are expected to "man up" and make the first move.

    • I don't know about that. I was a "shy" guy in high school. Then, early in college, I wasn't "shy," but I also wasn't the loud extroverted type either. But, I found that for as long as a guy was physically attractive, had a good-looking face, was clean, dressed well, was smart, and came from a good family background, girls interacting with the guy found him "safe" and a "low risk" of him being "a player" or later "cheating" on her. So, it was just as easy "if not easier" to get a girlfriend as a "shy" guy compared to the "uber social" guys.

      I honestly look back at my early dating and sex life and think, "damn, anything that happened was by complete luck and accident." Zero social skills. Heck, barely any real interest in girls. Nonetheless, they just felt "safe" interacting with a "quiet" guy, when compared to their other alternative dating/sexual options.

      Not the case with guys. If a girl was "quiet & reserved," she was like 99% of other girls.

  • Not sure what the update means. Was it like an "I'll show you" type thing, was it a half joking challenge, or what?

    I know girls who can get a boyfriend in a week. I even know a few who can get dates within two or three days. And I know MOST of these relationships are ones I wouldn't want. I know most of these relationships will be over in two months, if not a few weeks. Those that DO survive, the guys get all the sex they want within the week of meeting the girl, and they stay in these relationships without needing much commitment. Then the girls get angry for the guy leading them on, do a break up, get back together within a week or so; the guys don't change, the girls don't change, there's still no commitment, but lots of sex and emotional tantrums and then another breakup. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. And they'll keep going (even if they do break up permanently) in another relationship without getting proper time to heal, and it will happen over and over and over. That's not my thing. While I really do wish sometimes that I could get into relationships more easily, I don't think I'd really be interested in compromising that much of who I am just to be in a relationship that isn't me.

    Generally in westernized culture, the guy is supposed to ask. I don't believe in this personally, but enough people do believe in it enough to make it a "huge thing." So... decent looking girls will be asked out (in general) by more guys than guys will be asked out by girls, because it's seen as "the dudes job." The girl also tends to get more control on certain aspects of the relationship. A guy asks, the girl says no, the guy has to go back to the drawing board; dust himself off, and find someone else he feels enough of a connection with to ask out. The girl has to wait (and sometimes do a lot of compromising) to get the relationship, but more guys will hit on her (even for a purely physical lust type of relationship).

    Who knows? The relationship could have been garbage. It could even be fake or for show to upset you. I've been the faux boyfriend for a few female friends dealing with creepers (not saying you are, but it happens. Some girls play games even for regular guys). Never put a time limit on that. Too desperate. Put a reasonable time limit on yourself, let your actions speak for you instead of bragging, and don't worry about the ones who reject you. You just work on you.

  • It's because girls still tend to be chased while men tend to pursue. Essentially, all a girl has to do is mention she's looking for someone and she'll have her pick of responses within the hour.

    And since she's now spoilt for choices, she can now grab the best of whatever strikes her fancy. Thus women have it easier, generally speaking.

  • Its the way it goes. There is no number for it, but there are always a handful of desperate guys for every one girl. That's because there are a minority of guys that make up the characteristics that attract women. The rest are average and have to "get lucky". Remember... don't hate women, hate your fellow man. He is the competition.

  • Firstly girls can get hurt just as bad a guys and it's the 21 century it's fair game sex had nothing to do with it unlike 100 years ago women can go out and get one not just wait to be collected from the shelf as people used to think but it's a two way street relationships and they take a lot of effort take it from me who has been in a 1 1/2 year relationship

  • I like how all the women immediately denounce your claim about it being harder for guys to get girls than the other way around. Ladies. Really? That's delusional. No one is denying that it may be hard for many girls, but it certainly IS EASIER for girls than for guys. It just is and there's no denying that.

    • As a girl, I agree with this statement. Love how all the girls are massively vote brigading.

    • Well at least someone is smart here.

  • As I tell all men, just get an escort, stay single and enjoy life.

    • but they might not be clean and get you herpes

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    • hahaha right, there is no test for herpes champ.

    • or warts, and hiv takes 6 months to even show up in a blood test.

  • It is about twice as hard for a guy to get a girlfriend as it is for a girl to get a boyfriend. I base this on historical reproductive data - my presumption being that a reproduction rate of 80% for women versus 40% for men translates into equivalent dating prospects. - but it may not.

  • It's not that cut and dry.

    In general, it's easier for girls to get sex if they want it and easier for gay guys to get sex in general.

    As far as getting a boyfriend or girlfriend for a serious relationship i'd say it's pretty 50/50, because it's based on your character and who you are as a person as well as your chemistry with eachother.

    • My recommendation to you is to get a dating coach and cut your learning curve down

  • Because guys are the ones to always chase, while girls just... do nothing unless they decide to chase.

  • Who said it was easier for girls? Plus the answer you're looking for his... Because they're girls, Period... If they're pretty enough they don't need to fucking ask around and run after guys, they'll come right up... All by themselves...
    Definite answer... Because Boys are trying to get girls and girls accept... Not the other way around

  • Bateman's Principle.

    Any girl who claims to never have had a boyfriend is either under 20, or has not asked a guy out yet. Many girls claim "ugghhhh it's so hard to find a boyfriend!", but damned if they ever make the first move or ask a guy out.

  • You're wrong. It's just as hard for a woman to start a relationship with a man as vice versa. How would it be any easier? You need both to have a relationship.

    The thing is that women geneerally get more attention from the opposite sex. Why? Could be since the very beginning of how men have to go looking for mates and do all the initiating.

    But after that, getting an actual relationship going is another story. Women generally want to be in serious relationships., but are unsure if the other partner wants the same. Does he want a friends with benefits relationship or a serious, or is he just playing?

    Just remember that its a TWO WAY STREET.

    • And of course there are men that want serious relationships, but the women they are going after don't feel the same or aren't on the same page as them.

      It's a two way street. You need consent from both partners to start a serious relationship.

  • Well that was a stupid challenge wasn't it even more so knowing that you got rejected by that person. lol

  • If you look good/hot/model, as a girl, you literally have no fear in life, apart from getting pregnant too early hah :D

    Because a lot of men always looking for the good looking girls, especially, if the man has money, not millions, but has his own car etc.. so enough money, and a job ofc.
    Basicly man approach women, not the other way around, and usually men have more money.

    • Also money, but seriously, if you have your money, a job, you workout, you can easily get almost any girl.
      Girls usually fall for these guys, cause then they can start living their own life sooner, even if may not work out for them in the long run, basicly they got some idiot with money, who wants to bang all girls around him.
      And it's hard for those guys who have not much money early in their life, like 18+ to get girls, even if they look good, the girl will still choose the guy with the money. Maybe she would choose the other guy with less money, if she even gave him a chance by talking to him too.

    • When I was younger, I used to think money was the most important thing in life. Now that I'm older - I know it is.

  • I'm an 18 yr old guy that hasn't dated in a long time but I've had my heartbreaks by a girl and It kinda made not want to anymore that's probably my problem. I like girls with a mature mindset and are looking for a serious relationship that's not fueled by lust. However most girls my age are still out there partying their lives away, instead of thinking about there future.
    That's just my opinion.

  • Anyone can get a bf/gf easy. Getting a quality, compatible, marriage-material one is not.

  • How hard it is depends on who you are. And attraction is different for women and men.

    Men are largely attracted to looks, so that is the main thing women can do to increase their attractiveness: improve their health, grooming and clothes.

    Women are attracted to effectiveness in all kinds of different areas; the list is here:

    A key difference is that as a guy, you have to pursue women, and they choose whether to accept or reject your advances. It may seem unfair, but makes total sense biologically. It also includes some advantages for guys: e. g. dealing less with unwanted attention.

    • The simple answer is: when you have sex, all you lose is a load of sperm. When women have sex, they (evolutionarily) risk pregnancy. Having a child carries a major biological cost for a woman, whereas shooting a load carries a minimal biological cost for you as a guy. Hence it makes sense for you to want to sleep with as many women as possible. It makes sense for women to be very picky about who they sleep with.

      I know there are things like condoms, the pills, etc., but our bodies don't understand that. So the different behaviour is still hardwired into women and men.

      Another thing is that women risk rape. So they are simply more prudent when choosing who to date.

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    • Okay, the only problem with that theory is that in 2015, poke a hole in a condom and just "try" to "force" a woman to become a mother before she's ready to become a mom. It's called the morning-after pill, abortion, or birth and then immediately leaving the child at a safe-haven, no questions asked. So, for women, "pregnancy" no longer equals "parenthood." So, "sex" no longer carries the "risk" of "parenthood" (because that's a risk that can be 100% "controlled" by the woman; it's now a choice).

      Not so with men. Have sex with a girl, and unbeknownst to you she's poked holes in your condom, or later taken your sperm and impregnated herself with a turkey baster. Now, you're fcuked. You have no choice. You are literally "forced" to be a father. For men, "parenthood" is always a risk associated with any kind of sexual activity, and completely outside of a man's control in terms of mitigating 100% (if he wants to be able to still reproduce in the future).

    • So, under an evolutionary psychology approach, we should (as a society at large) begin seeing a shift in human male/female behavior, because the "risk of sex" has now been shifted from women onto men. . . and we should expect to see more men being reluctant to pursue women for the purpose of having sexual encounters, and even hesitant in moving too fast with complete strangers or women they feel uncomfortable with.

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