I've been seeing this guy over the last couple of months but I really feel I need to explain to him what I've been going through but I'm not sure how?

In January of last year I started dating this guy who was a friend of friends it was going really well until about June when he wasn't given the opportunity to continue with his music apprenticeship, he then became insecure and financially worried he was 19 and I was 20, his mum walked out on him when he was 6 and since them his dad has brought him up with his brother. In October it got to the point were he felt like he couldn't trust me anymore and thought I'd cheated on him so he broke up with me. But a month later his messaged me and apologised and we got back together because I wanted to give him a second chance. He became really heavy depressed through the winter and again it got to the point the following January were it was like he didn't want to see me anymore, so he dropped me again, but this time I thought he'd apologise in a few days and we'd be okay. Being my first boyfriend I still loved and cared for him even though he was pushing me away. Mid February we started talking again because of the death of someone who was close to us both, at this time he was fed up of looking for a job and hated the 2 he had, he was insecure about how he looked, but to me he was still beautiful. In March I received a message from one of his friends saying that he'd been found dead. I tore myself apart trying to think if there was anything I could have done, but everyone I spoke to said he was himself that day. Later we found that he'd climbed a crane in December but told his friend that his love for me was the only thing that stopped him. He hanged himself and I'd lost the closest friend I'd ever had. It still hurts as much as it did the first time remembering that he's gone. Since I've started dating someone new I don't want this part of me that still loves him to ruin my new relationship, I'm with him mainly right now because he is my happiness and that is something I'm trying to hold onto. but how and when do I tell him about this?


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What Guys Said 1

  • When things get a bit serious you should sit down and tell him. If your still in the dating phase it may be fine but sooner is better then later.


What Girls Said 1

  • People you once loved, you probably always will.
    You don't need to rush and tell the new guy about it (I'm assuming you just started dating) until you feel comfortable to, or until it becomes an issue between you two or with the way you act and you need to explain yourself. Which is unlikely unless you make it an issue?
    Enjoy what you have today.


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