Why is he acting like a child?

This guy and myself have been talking for 11 months now (both 18). I love him a lot and we have hit some bumps along the way. Some by me but the major (loyalty) bumps have been his doing by his actions. He stresses me out a majority of the time and that should probably be enough. To top it off my friends have told me to end it many times and I try but I always come back. Unfortunately last night he and I got into a dispute by my doing. I calmly told him I did not trust him, but it's fixable because my trust is given easily. Instead of wanting to talk it out he actually began cutting me off and saying "nobody gives a f***" over and over until I'd stop talking. If I started explaining again he would repeat it. He began insulting me and I told him to stop and be nicer. He would for a little but once I brought it back up he so much as grabbed his guitar and started playing over me to tune me out. He started singing to keep me from talking. This continued for at least an hour. He never talked to me about the issue because he was acting like a child. This is my first serious relationship and I don't know where to draw a line. I don't know how. So my question is: is this acceptable behavior? Do people actually react this way? I could understand if he said to give him a minute so he could gather what he wanted to say. I just don't know how to respond anymore it's not even fully about the trust, it's about his response. Is that behavior even worth trying to deal with?


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What Guys Said 1

  • My first reaction would be to say "Drop him!" Trust is very important. If you can't have trust, especially when easily given, then you have no real relationship. His behavior will probably not improve. If he is 18 and acting that way now, it is a way of avoiding dealing with issues that he has developed since he was a little child. I'll bet his parents had the same problems with him and never solved them. You would be inheriting their mistakes.

    On the other hand, if you really love him and really want to make this relationship work, you need to find a way to communicate with him. Many guys are not good at arguing (or too good) and he may be avoiding the argument because he does not want to say hurtful things in the heat of the moment that he can't take back later. I'd suggest writing an honest letter to him, telling him how you feel about him, how you feel about the issue, his reaction to you etc. Give him time to think and ask him to reply in writing. That should give you a fair to good idea of where things are going or can go. Its probably best to put the relationship on ice. Not break up, but tell him in the letter that the ball is in his court. He may then break it off, or not reply, which would be the same thing, and if you need to break it off, you are already half way there and its no shock to him. He may really open up to you in a letter and you may see a side of him you have never seen before.


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