Should a non-drinker buy drinks for a woman on a date?

I don't drink and never have. To answer the most common questions, no I'm not a recovering alcoholic, no I'm not religious, no I don't have "control issues". My family has a history of substance abuse problems and I realized at a fairly early age that I'm probably genetically predisposed to addiction.

When I'm on a date I feel uncomfortable buying alcohol for a girl. Its not because I'm against her drinking, it's because I understand how the situation could be misinterpreted. Having someone who's never had a drink buying a girl drinks looks like he's trying to "liquor her up" . I always explain to my date that I don't drink so I'm not as worried about her thinking I'm taking advantage, I'm more worried about how other people view the situation. In an extreme case I can see a crazy person accusing me of rape and a waitress or bartender remembering that I had a sprite when I was buying her wine.

What do people think about this situation? Would any of the women out there be OK with a date that was uncomfortable buying them a few drinks?

Sorry, that first answer required a clarification. I'm not talking about picking up a girl at a bar I'm talking about being on a date in a restaurant.


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  • Well, depending on where you are with the girl. I'd ask the girl if she wanted something to drink, and if yes, I'd ask her what. Not really harder than that.

    If she would want alcohol, that is her choice, and you're just giving her what she wants, so if you don't drink, she'll have to understand that you did not push her to drink in any way.

    Just gather up as much self confidence as you can, and press on! You can do it.

    • I'd have to say the same answer. It's all about taste and what she feels like drinking, and if you're a non-drinker, that should be fine for her. Don't worry, you'll do just fine.