Why do good men throw away good women?

I'm really bummed out over asituation. At the core, I wanted to commit - he didn't, so we called it off.

He worked hard to court me... took me to amazing places in the mountains, cooked for me... I felt extremely cared for and attended to. I felt like we had so much in common and felt like I finally fell for a good guy. We dated for two months and honestly, it was the best relationship I had ever been in. The perfect amount of spice, comfort, excitement and honesty. I asked him where his head was at for a relationship and he simply put: has no clue. He says his feelings have progressed from when we first met to now - but he's worried that his feelings will plateau or will disappear if we "commit". Anyways, I wasn't comfortable with conitnuing the relationship the way we had been if he couldn't commit. He's really choked about it, I'm really choked about it... but he really doesn't want to go for it so what am I to do?

It's just really hard not to take it personally. I'm educated, good looking, an entrepreneur, mature, love to have fun, up to try anything once. It's just tough because I feel really good about myself and it's hard to be excited about someone, be vulnerable to that person... and they just don't get it. He has feelings for me but is to afraid to act on it.

We have decided to be friends... but it's weird because neither of us want to be friends. We want to be together... I want a commitment... he doesn't. I just wonder if I should forget about it or give the friendship thing a try. I do believe that if I am friends with him it's in the hope that he would change his mind.
I decided I don't want to be friends with him. It just makes me feel like I'm selling myself short because the purpose of being friends would be in hopes that he'd change is mind. If a dude isn't stoked to be with you... than he's not stoked on being with you.

It was only a couple months but we went on many dates in that time. He introduced me to his friends, his brother, he invited me to his families farm later this summer. He just really gave me every indication he wanted more.


Most Helpful Guy

  • As for the friends thing, if that is what you want go for it. I personally find that if I am attracted to someone I can't be jist friends as it drives me crazy. I go insane thinking avout what they are doing on dates with other guys, it just eats me up inside. The best thing in that situation is give them an ultimatum. All or nothing.

    As for your headline qiestion guys that do that are not good guys. They are really good at acting like they are, but that is all it is, an act.


Most Helpful Girl

  • 3 months is too soon to figure things out. Have fun! Enjoy yourselves together while you have each other. And in the end, when it comes down to it, if he truly loves you and enjoys your time together he will commit. He will take it a step further but for right now enjoy the moment. Don't slide into things too quickly. Good luck :)


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What Guys Said 2

  • I don't understand what your problem is. You dated for less than 3 months, you wanted commitment and you didn't say in what way. 3 months is too soon to ask for commitment, hence he said let's just be friends. He basically said, let's take it slower.

  • in the end it just wasn't an entirely good match up. that's all, you'll find another one.


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