Why do people date others they aren't really interested in?

So, I remember when I was about 13 and started "dating," "hanging out," "seeing someone," etc. I wasn't really that into him. I was just doing it because I thought I was supposed to. Then another guy came along and said he liked me and then gave me my first kiss but I was not into him either. I actually liked someone else but didn't have the guts to show it. After that year, I promised myself I wouldn't go out with someone unless I liked him.

Now I am 30, I still feel the same way. I don't date around a lot because I would rather wait to find someone I truly like. I just ended something with someone about 7 months ago even though I really liked him. We had some serious compatibility issues and it broke my heart. I am finally over it though and now like someone new who I am hoping it will work out with.

The reason for posting is this: I feel like a lot of women and men my age get a little desperate and start going out with random people because they have no one better around. I was talking about this with my co-workers yesterday. One of them has had a crush on this guy at our work for months but instead of actually doing anything about it she actually started casually dating some random guy she met off the internet. I think that guy at work might feel the same way but I guess he will never know. Why do people do this to themselves?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Hi,

    I think you've answered your own question. people do get a little desperate and go out with random people because they have no one else around. They do it out of fear, loneliness, social pressure, etc. The reasons are as varied as the people.

    At the same time, many people don't date enough. They don't realize that dating and dealing with people is at least in part a skill. People need to "practice" dating. Who knows, that guy that wasn't perfect at first glance may be a really nice guy and a good date.


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What Guys Said 2

  • This is a very interesting question. I have recently got divorced and am back in the dating game after a while away.

    I can't speak for everyone of course I can't. It I found myself very lonely when I got divorced even slightly alarmed I wouldn't find someone else. So I suppose the feeling of loneliness is worse than the feeling of dating the wrong person.

    Sometimes as a male not having sex can be depressing, sad as it sounds but it's genetics testonerone does that to you. so the only way to have regular sex is to have a relationship, not many people will admit this I don't know of it's the sane for women you might get lonely without male company? Again another reason to have a relationship is for companionship or sex. You might think it sounds using of people to only start something for sex but that's no different than using someone for company. I'm still on my own but I'm getting divorced do it's for the best I need to get over my wife I would like sine thing casual i am a 31 year old male but no girls seem to like me in that sense or things have changed since I was single last I've been on three dates 2 good ones which I enjoyed but nothing physical.

    I hope that's answered a very interesting question. I will be intrigued to hear your opinion?

  • Because they want to fill a void. Rather than wait for someone they truly want, they'd rather find someone to bide the time with.


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