Most Helpful Guy
Yeah, he's right. Honestly, with the amount of girls out there, I'm not gonna waste my time trying to get a girl I don't know she will want me or not. The chances of her getting annoyed are higher than of her liking me.
In the movies it works cause everyone like to see that type of romance, but in real life, no guy is gonna waste months or years of his life on a girl, chances are that he could move on and find a better girl in that time.
You can't call a girl "the one" when you haven't even started dating and the only thing she does is reject you.
Most Helpful Girl
Usually, the more insecure someone is (male or female) the more they will feel an emotional need to play hard to get.
Why? Because they need to validation, general and specific. They want to feel like they are wanted and desired by the opposite sex and the person they are dating specifically.
They also need to "feel secure" and play power games. By playing hard to get, they are essentially asking for it to be "okay" for the "other person" to "give give give" and invest so much in this new relationship, just so that the person playing hard to get can reciprocate with mere breadcrumbs.
This sets us a "power dynamic" that makes the insecure person feel safe. By causing the other person to invest more and disproportionately, if things "end" or "stop," then "the other person," had "lost more."
So, this sets up disproportionate bargaining leverage for the insecure person. "I" (the insecure person) can demand more and ask for more, and the other person will usually comply or concede, because if they risk challenging me, and I end things, they have lost more!
People who do this do so because they feel that without this artificially created disproportionate power dynamic in their favor, the person they are interested in would have more negotiating power, and it would case the insecure person to endlessly compromise. This is not true, but merely "projecting" or "projective identification."
It's completely disrespectful regardless whether it's the man or woman that's doing it.
I've played hard to get when I was younger, and I was emotionally aware of "why" I was doing it. The whole "excuse" that guys like it or want women who do is BS. It's what we say publicly or socially to hide the truth.
When guys play hard to get with me, it's a total turn off. It raises a red flag in my head to look for what he's insecure about. His car? His house? His job? His looks? His history with women?
What I've found is that the more emotionally content people are, the less they feel the emotional need to play hard to get. They're just open, forthcoming and respectful.