I'm worried he's not a good guy?

My friend is making a huuuuuge mistake with this guy she's "talking" to. She won't hear me out and keeps telling me she's not stupid and she wouldn't fall for just any guy. But this is literally the second guy she's "talked" to who she said she loved within a few days. They've met in person once. ONCE. All he does is give her compliments. He told her he's a Christian. But he hasn't really proved it with his actions at all. They never really talk about their faith. I don't believe he's a good Christian boy. She told him that she wanted to cuddle with him, and he told her that that really urned him on. She said "it's whatever. It was late at night and he shouldn't be held accountable for what he said." Oh gosh I'm so concerned. The first guy like this ended up to be a lying fake. Like huh imagine that. Am I overreacting? She's falling too hard for a guy she hasn't even talked to for a full two weeks.


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What Guys Said 3

  • While I agree that falling for someone too quickly can be problematic a lot of what I see here is you trying to push your opinions on your friend. You can tell her how you feel and if you think you are helping her you did the right thing. However, she does have the right to disagree and you need to respect her right to make her own choices.

    And honestly you could point to anyone and say they are not proving their Christianity through actions as their are lots of seemingly contradicting statements and arbitrary rules in the bible. Thats why its important of everyone to think for themselves and not blindly believe what they are told or what they read even if it comes from a authoritative source.

    Sexuality is perfectly normal and healthy and the idea that people should repress or feel ashamed about their sexuality can be psychologically damaging. There is nothing wrong with him stating that he was turned on. There would be nothing wrong if they had sex, so long as they were safe about it.

    You have to remember the bible was written by people who have their own agendas and bias just like anyone else.

    I challenge you to ask yourself if you can find a logical reason that his statement was somehow wrong and to ask yourself if an all powerful and all loving god would be so concerned with how people express their sexuality but at the same time do nothing to prevent world hunger as untold amounts of children are dying of starvation.

    • All I've told her is to be careful. I haven't vented to her at all.
      It is normal yes. But why mention it? A Christ centered man, as he claims to be, should not be mentioning that to his girl. He is supposed to treasure her purity and lead her towards Christ. Not tempt her into sin.
      Yes but I've talked to her. She wants to abstain from sex till marriage. She has really strong morals and is one of the strongest Christian woman I've ever met.
      God gave us choice. So we can get into heaven of our own free will. That is why there is starvation in the world. He wants us to seek him. But he does not force us to believe in him like puppets. He gave us free will. I think that's beautiful.

  • Don't force your opinion on her, and claiming to be a Christian doesn't make you good all of a sudden. I don't even see what the problem is.

    • The problem is that he's not behaving like a Christian. I realize it doesn't make you a perfect person. But faith is something really important to her. And she's not paying attention to the fact he doesn't act like one. A Christian man is supposed to lead his woman towards God. Not investing his time in dirty thoughts and dragging a good Christ centered girl with him.

    • Ohhh that makes more sense. I'm not a very religious person so I can't be of much help here without being biased. But lime I said, it's her choice. She didn't listen to you so let her screw up and learn the hard way. I've had this happen plenty of times to friends that wouldn't listen, and every time I said that I told them so and I helped pick them back up after they screwed up

  • When i was younger, i did the same thing as you were i'd try to watch out for my friends however like you're beginning to notice... no one listens.

    The only true way to understand this is through experience... one day you'll date someone you'll like and you will also get criticism or some side skeptical remarks that you too will ignore. After a year or so when the relationship does turn sour.. you'll think "what the hell was i thinking? Why didn't i listen to my friends / family?

    Your friend isn't going to listen to anyone as she's emotionally connected so if you truly care for your friend, support her.. and when things go poorly... keep supporting her.

    Unless it's a life threatening relationship.. it's her road / path to learn.


What Girls Said 1

  • Unfortunately you can't do anything about this :(


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