Hey there, thank you for reading ! :)
I don't know which category I should post this, then I'll do it there. If it's not the right place, kindly indicates me which category fits better my post.
Lets get into serious stuffs.
As being 21 years old that never went on a date or took a girl's phone number.. it is kind of depressing at this point.
I have accepted the fact that I am insecure, and that I horribly lack of confidence. I can't do anything to overcome those issues, yet. Thus, as for the time being I'll more focus on myself in another way than the love life.
What can someone do to be happy? I just finished my summer classes, and I am on vacation for 2 months.
Need some plans for this summer.
If you believe that I should rather take this vacation to improve myself, as overcome my lack of confidence and insecurities then I'll do it. Kindly, tell me what should I do in thay case. Your guidance is really important.
Otherwise, I can spend my time on something else. Still, you'll have to come with ideas.
Either way I'll need some help to overcome my problems, and some plans for the rest of the summer.
Thank you! :)
Most Helpful Girl
Most Helpful Guy
It's actually easier than it seems but it takes a lot of time. I'll make of list of things that help
1. Appreciation. Take time to focus on the things you do have and appreciate them as often as possible. Your hands, your legs, your brain, your cellphone, the grass. Our brains are problem solving machines so unless you take the time to recognize good things you'll only focus on the problems in your life
2. Meditation. It's a weird one I know but trust me it helps. Try and sit still and let your mind only focus on breathing. It's hard as hell at first. Why? Your brain from morning till night is working constantly. Of course you feel sad. You're fatigued. Try and take time to learn how to focus and simply let thoughts pass on through your mind sometimes without entertaining every single one of them. That's meditation. You don't need to sit a specific way or chant certain words. Those things aren't essential they're just aids for some people. Just take some mental relaxation time and breathe. It helps you Understand your thinking habits and replace bad ones with good ones.
4. Acceptance. I put this after meditation because In the process of learning how to deal with and let go of thoughts you learn how to simply accept the uncomfortable parts of life. Often times the things were worried about aren't as important as we think and if we'd only simply go ahead and feel sad without all the extra thinking and worrying about escaping the sadness we can calmly return to normal. We learn to accept things out of our control as well as learning how to separate our emotional state from the world.
5. Perception. Emotions are motivators that arise from perception. Our perception is heavily grounded in our understanding of the world. Because we only can see the world we are always plagued by our biases. Identifying and addressing these biases help a lot.
6. Self efficacy. People often teach that confidence is about believing in ones ability to succeed. I disagree. From my understanding it comes from ones understanding of failure. When you learn to place failure in the context of the rest of your life the fear diminishes. For example you're afraid of being rejected by a girl. What if she does? You feel sad and over some stretch of time you learn something new and eventually recover. Failure isn't permenant and usually teaches you something.
7. Altruism. Happiness is hard to reach when your busy focusing on fixing yourself. Trying to be happy is a paradox.0