Know a guy who is 12 years older than me for years. Should I give up?

I will keep the story short.
I knew this guy for four years. We contaced for one year before going on a real date. After three dates physical intimatcy stepped in but never spent the whole night in his house. (FYI we do not really meet that often maybe once a month or twice a month) I really like him but he did not try to take things further. So i met my ex-boyfriend and tried to stop the connection with him. After he knew i got a boyfriend, he kept contacting me and asked me to meet up. I rejected them all so after two years he gave up and said would not bother me anymore. Recently (one year after he stopped contacting me), he messaged me on FB because i changed phone number. We met again and just talked. At the end of the meeting, because of the drink he started to talk in a weird way and asked me if i was going to let him go home alone. Now we just talk on fb and i think he is going to arrange another meet again. Do you think i should meet him again? or i am just wasting my time?


Most Helpful Guy

  • After reading this, I have no idea what you are saying. You use "he" and "him" but there are two guys you mention, so I never knew which one you were talking about. You remember that day in English class when the teacher was talking about indefinite pronouns?

    • Both him or he mean that older guy. But thanks for your advice.

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    • And if he wants to pursue a relationship, are you interested? If so, go talk to him and explain all that to him.

    • To be honest, i do not want to ask him directly because it is very scary for me. thats why i am trying to get some opinions here.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Meet with him, but make it clear that you arnt no booty call or a one night stand (Don't have to be direct about this, just as long as he gets the point) Perhaps try not drinking and get the conversation around to what he really thinks this is between you, what could it be/ whats he expecting/ what does he want? But don't do it in a desperate, needy of overwhelming

    • That is conversation
      what i am scared of. No matter how it is structured, this conversation will sound desperate. So i want some suggestions from someone who is experienced in dating. is he a player based on the story? :)

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    • hmm 19 started to talk and then one year later.

    • Sorry about the late reply, I like older men as well but i'm always to shy to do anything about it, I think (although it's going to be hard) you need to ask him what he's hoping for and what he wants to come of the two of you, he's a man I'm sure he's had worse conversations and I don't think he'll find it impertinent or embarrassing, he'll probably like the directness of it and it will show your maturity in wanting to find out exactly what, it is he wants. And it'll put you at ease as well, knowing what he wants and giving you the opportunity to decide whether or not you want the same, instead of feeling stringed along and uneasy by the things he says and the contact he's giving you (over the years etc)

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • you're wasting your time.


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