Is he not that into me?

I've been out with this guy maybe 4-5 times. I'm unsure how he feels about me and what he wants. We haven't talked about where we stand. He doesn't talk much when we are together he's pretty quiet. He consistently asks me to hang out but always leaves the date planning up to me. The other day u decided not to initiate contact with him to see what he would do. After 1 day he messaged me and asked what I was up to that weekend. The next day on sat he was asking me what I was doing now. So I told him I was meeting friends to go watch a show and then maybe meet my friends for their bday. I invited him out with me. He said he was tired and was just going to take it easy tonight. I'm feeling hurt. I get that he worked today and worked out but wouldn't he want to come out with me if he really liked me? Would he not also try to suggest tommorow instead? Is he just stringing me along or am I overeating?


Most Helpful Guy

  • You have to understand what kind of dude he is. Is he a player type? Is he a quiet, introspective type? Is he low-key? This matters because maybe he was genuinely tired that day; not all guys are girl-crazy and set everything aside just for them. Especially at your age, guys start getting older and more practical about things. I know I'm not as accommodating as I used to be when I was younger. If I'm tired then I'll just stay home, that simple. Also, just because he didn't suggest something else the next day doesn't mean he's not into you. Maybe he had something to do the next day. Sounds like he could just be playing it by ear.

    Guys are usually pretty easy to figure out if you know what you're dealing with. Like I said, if he's a chill, quiet, serious type of guy then you can trust that he probably still likes you but is just taking things slow. Remember that he's older, and so are you. Maybe he's looking at you as marriage material. If he's the player type then yes, he's probably stringing you along. But this is your call to make. You have to look for the signs; is he tall, hot, are all the chicks wanting him? There you go. Don't lie to yourself about you being different. Players don't care about that.

    • Well he is tall and good looking but like I said he is a quiet type who doesn't say much. He strikes me as a chill go with the flow dude. I'm Not Sure If All The chicks want him lol

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    • Yes I like him I can live with that. That's not even the original question. I'm asking if this means he's not into me

    • I already answered that. Read the original response. You have to make that decision and analyze the guy.

Most Helpful Girl

  • He actually sounds interested in you.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Guys are not that complicated if he does not care enough to take the iniative he is not interested in a serious relationship. If you want one ask him if he is looking for a serious relationship, he will most likely tell you what he wants out of the relationship. He might not realize that you are after something more long term.

    • Although he could be introverted like the other guys below said. If thats the case he may just not have wanted to hangout with your friends because he felt he would have been out of place

  • Given that all we have is your perception of the problem, I think he might just be one of those people who doesn't initiate things. The picture you paint is of a passive, perhaps depressed, person. Just saying.

    • Lol I don't think he's depressed but yes I do think he is passive. I'm just hurt do you not think it's strange he didint want to come out with me and my friends tonight? Or that he didint make plans this weekend in general?

    • He also sounds like an introvert (again based on what little you said.) It's a little strange that he didn't want to do anything, but, again from what you said, he seems withdrawn.

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