Why would someone be in touch with an ex?

I really don't see why anyone would be in touch with an ex unless they're just friends. The current guy that I'm dating is in touch with an ex who HE once dumped, behind my back. He doesn't know that I'm aware but I am. They were in touch before we met yet he stars seeing me, they were flirting. Heck she even called him once when we went out on a party. My guess is that he has feelings for her but I don't see why he would start seeing someone else which is me in this case and let her be aware of that, I don't know what he truly feels about her either since it never was a real relationship. I can't tell him not to because he is not committed to me but it does put me off. Yes I could dump him but I'm looking for opinions?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm reasonable, like super mr. reasonable haha. but I do have a slight selfish side that isn't a fan of allowing in my case "a girl" to openly communicate with her ex.

    It comes down to what you're willing to put up with in this relationship. You risk major emotional stress constantly worrying when he's on the phone or out of sight, if he's with his ex or communicating with her. Even with trust, it's good to not be Naive, because let's face it. Putting yourself in the situation where you're around an old love or someone you can get physical or see yourself in a relationship with, and I'm talking about him around his ex... could lead to anything.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I kept in contact with my X because a part of me still cared for that person.

    When you care (whether you're together or not) its hard to let go completely.

    When I didn't care at all... it was easier to get him out of my life completely.

    Caring about someone doesn't always involve love.
    There was a point where I still loved him.
    When I got over that love... I still cared for him as a friend.
    Eventually, his true colors came to light and I saw him for what he really was.
    At that point I was ready to cut him loose permanently.
    There was no looking back after that.

    I think your boyfriend may still care for his ex.
    The fact that they are flirting doesn't make things any better.

    I don't think you should dump your boyfriend.
    I think since you BOTH are together you should talk to him about this.
    What kind of a relationship would it be if you hide your feelings? And don't communicate?

    In order for him to change past behavior, he has to first become aware of what you see that is wrong.


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • I have an ex who is my best friend. She is married to a great guy now, and he doesn't mind that she has an ex boyfriend for a best friend. He trusts me with her. I know it may sound weird, but sometimes exes know you better than anybody else would, and since there wasn't a connection that would succeed in a romantic relationship, there are other connections that are still there to make excellent friends. It can be hard to see it this way because it can be seen as threatening to your relationship partner. My girlfriend doesn't know I have an ex for a bestie, because I am afraid of how she will take it, but I'm sure it will be ok if it is presented the right way, and my friends all know and are ok with it. Just another point of view. Hope it helps.

  • If you both can stay friends after that, why cut him off?


What Girls Said 1

  • i would ask his attentions with me then if you don't like his answer dump him but if they are ask him about his attentions and feeling's for her


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