Ok so I met a girl online, she lives about 4hrs away from me. I went and met her last weekend. She is amazingly funny, smart, loyal, caring, thoughtful. I don't know if her pictures were deceiving, or I created this image in my head of what I wanted her to look like, but she was bigger than I expected. I was kind of embarrassed to be with her and kiss her in public. She knew and we had this big argument last night. I told her that she didn't need to have a beach body, I just wanted to be with someone who wasn't just going to be like welp this is the body I was given there's nothing I can do about it. I feel like an ass, because I used to be really overweight, but no one was even considering dating me when I was like that. I just want know that like she hasn't given up and is just going to like shut down or quit trying to "better" herself. I don't know if I should date her, or let her get emotionally involved if I'm desiring her to be thinner. She is a really great person and I think I could really be happy with her. I don't know if I'm just being a superficial ass or if I even have a valid argument. I just feel like she is sexy because of her personality, and I could learn to love her body because of that. Anyone have any suggestions/thoughts?
Most Helpful Girl
Don't date her. You will constantly put her down.0
Most Helpful Guy
"she lives about 4hrs away from me" (normally, that would be the end of the discussion right there)
but to beat a dead horse...
"she was bigger than I expected. I was kind of embarrassed to be with her and kiss her in public." (altruistic sex; charity c0ck; philanthropic penis)
and to beat that dead horse... "with" a dead horse...
"I just wanted to be with someone who wasn't just going to be like welp this is the body I was given there's nothing I can do about it." (was this in the United States of America, and outside of Los Angeles, California? well, news flash, female-centric PR is all about, "It's easier to convince yourself that you're beautiful just the way you are and guilt, shame and attack other people who tell you otherwise (and even try to persuade them that they should "naturally" be attracted to you and want you just the way you are), than it is for you to stop eating like a mindless animal and hit the gym to lose some weight and get in shape... and therefore, if something is difficult, it's probably not worth doing... so do that which is easier, ladies!)
Yeah, here are some suggestions and thoughts...
A guy who doesn't give two flying sh*ts about getting good grades, going to a good school, getting a good job, staying employed, making good money, having a good body, networking and being social, ... and his female partner's happiness... is not going to magically "change" one day. That's how he is, for now and forever.
Women are not any different. Sure, maybe they'll meet a guy they like, start "TEMPORARILY" making changes to their normal default behaviors and baseline personality... but once she takes the first bite of that wedding cake, it's all downhill from there... so you better be sure you're prepared to live with the "least motivated" version of that person.
If she's "naturally" this lacking in ambition and unmotivated and "I don't give a fcuk about things that are important to a potential male partner, and in fact, I'm actually pretty offended and hurt potential male partners actually care about things that are important to them and want them from their female partner..." how exactly do you think that's going to play out over the next 30 years?
Run like someone pepper-sprayed you @sshole1