Guys, is it ok for him to flirt online?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months, this time. We were off and on years ago but now we decided to be committed to each other. We are both mid 30s and each have a child from a previous relationship. Also, we are long distance (about a 2 hr flight between us). We were both dating other people when we first got back together but we said we would stop and move to the other's city whoever finds a good job first.
However, one of the girls he was dating when we got together, he still keeps very active, public and flirtacious contact with her online. I called him out about it and he didn't see anything wrong with it. Since then, he told me they've bumped into each other a bunch of times. We keep arguing over this same girl and its driving us apart. I don't think he's sleeping with her, I'm pretty sure he's not. However, they constantly 'like' each other's pictures on Instagram as soon as one of them post and today I looked and he posted kissy faces to one of her pics. Previous posts were much worse with them talking about his 'member.' I try to keep in mind that its just online and its silly social media. But they live in the same city. We only visit each other once a month.
I want to confront him and tell him to stop, but he's going to AGAIN accuse me of being a snoop and insecure and jealous and paranoid. Which is valid when we were together before I would go through his phone in front of him. I want to trust him, but there were times in the past when we cheated on the other people we were with to be together. I want him to just stop on his own and not feel like I'm forcing him to do something. Is this something I should ignore until I feel like it goes beyond online, or should I confront him? Also, how do I bring it up without sounding crazy? I feel so immature even bringing this up as an actual issue but it really does bother me. Or should I just walk away, if he cared about me he would have no problem cutting her off, right?
He's m
(got cut off) He's my soulmate, and I love him, there's no doubt in my mind that he loves me and this will eventually die down but I'm losing my patience in the meanwhile.

Ready to Fight


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What Guys Said 2

  • His behavior is not acceptable. I think you should walk away and move on. This is probably not going to stop no matter what you do to try to stop him. If he cared about you, he not only would have no problem cutting her off, there would not have been an issue with her to begin with.

  • Maybe he is just a flirtatious person, if that's him then it's just him. Even I say stuff. I follow the rule "You can look but you can't touch". However, saying stuff like they will meet online and stuff is to far. If he's being friendly, then fine but if it's straight up flirting then that's wrong.

    Honestly, it's really hard to just cut people off, I have done it for years for past girlfriends and the issue I have now a days is I don't want to have to start over, even with just a friend, I don't want to have to get to know someones life all over again, so I keep who I have, and add to it. I'm scared to lose someone.


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