The girl I never dated comes back into my life, now what?

We knew each other 3 years ago as coworkers. I asked her out, we talked on the phone for a few months but we never dated. I was going through some personal stuff back then that I didn't want to involve this girl in. So we stopped talking to each other.

Last December I found her on MySpace. 2 months later I sent her an email telling her that I would like us to get to know each other again. 4 weeks later she emails me back and says she's okay with that. Then there is a 4 month gap where I'm sending her lots of emails and calling her cell phone so that I can tell her about myself but then she never gets back to me until this morning.

I'm the kind of guy that let's the answering machine pickup the messages but for some reason I felt like picking up the phone to see who it was. The one time that I answer the phone in a long time and it happens to be this girl that I have been trying to contact for the last 4 months. We talked for nearly 3 hours just catching up.

Turns out that she was having a busy life and just had no time to get in touch with me. Long story short she was working 3 part-time jobs and going to college full time.

I'm also the kind of guy that doesn't get jealous easily. I found out that she is seeing someone right now and has been for the last year and a half. I don't know if it is because we got to talking again or what but she said that she was having problems with her current boyfriend and said that it doesn't look like it will last much longer.

Oh and I also found out that the boyfriend is the jealous type as in he won't allow this girl to hang out with her guy friends at all. Oh and he is a homebody that doesn't like to take this girl out when ever they get the chance to be with each other (i. E. Nightclubs, parties, actual social gatherings, etc. ).

Before I picked up the phone, I had already made the decision to cut her out of my life without telling her but then she called and now I have no clue what to do next.

  • Continue to talk with her only by phone just to get to know her as friends and then maybe eventually asking her out after she breaks up with her current boyfriend
    Vote A
  • I made the decision to cut her out of my life already, I should just follow through and stop talking to this girl
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Stay in touch with her. Don't invite trouble though if her boyfriend is the jealous type. Talk on the phone within reason but let her make the decision to leave him. Once that is over, give it some time for her to heal and still remain friends. You don't want to be the rebound.

    Be careful when talking with her about her current relationship. Don't criticize him, but say things like "you deserve to be happy" or "your don't have to be someone else to be with a man that loves you", etc.

    I disagree with the member that said "take the wheel". I think that could end badly. Don't rush it.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • I think you should see where it goes. You have some psychic abilities and a gift it seems. I say go for it and see what happens.

    Remember being friends is the solid foundation for any real relationship. Support her through her break up by being a good friend. That will only make her love you more.

    Good luck to you.


What Guys Said 1

  • fella,

    be a man and take the wheel, and your luck will follow you.