My boyfriend is extremely depressed and I don't know how to help it?

We've been together for 6 months now and he's been so depressed lately. I don't know how to help him. We've talked about him going to a doctor but the doctor told him to cheer up and he tried talking to his mother but she said the same thing. (which is wrong) he's talked about committing suicide. It freaks me out a lot. I feel like I can't help him and that my relationship isn't enough to make him happy. I'm starting to become depressed myself because I feel like I'm losing him. I don't want to break up but I'm becoming really unhappy.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Is his depression clinical (meaning chemical imbalance), or life induced?

    Either way, you're right. Your relationship is not enough for him. He either needs medication, or he needs to sort out whatever has him in this funk. The only thing you can do for him is be supportive. He'll either want to talk to you about his darkness or be distracted from it by you. Figure out which that is and do it, if you want to help.

    The flip side, there's no point in you both being unhappy. If he won't let you help him you should break it off. Do it gently. Tell him he needs to focus on himself and when he's ready maybe you can try it again.

    • It's life induced. I'm trying so hard to be there for him but it's starting to drag me down. Because I just want to make him happy but I can't. And that kills me. I feel like if I broke it off he would go overboard and loss it. Which I care too much for him to see that happen plus I really don't want to break up. All I want is to fix the problem. It's just so hard and I can't figure out how to handle it all. Do you think I should try talking to his family and tell them I think it's serious.

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    • Maybe you should talk to his family then. Might help. Getting medication might level him out temporarily so he can fix what needs fixing.

      One of the problems with depression is, depressed people don't want to hear your advice. And find it very difficult to take action. Try to imagine feeling hopeless and tired, all the time. That'll get you part of the way there.

    • He's right. Depressed people just want someone to listen to them and simply be there for them. I know through experience.

      If he's talking about suicide you NEED, and I mean NEED to talk to someone about it. Put aside any hesitations you have about talking with his family and talk to them. If they just tell him to cheer up then screw them. They're heartless if they think they won't actually lose a son to something like this. Depression is a damn serious matter and people treat it like simple sadness.

      All in all, just be there for him, be as loving as you can be, do what you can to make him happy whether it be cooking his favorite meal, watching his favorite show with him, etc. And absolutely definitely talk to others about this. Get all the help you can.

Most Helpful Girl

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What Guys Said 1

  • You have done what you could. You are there for him and you two discuss what he is going through. Just what a good girlfriend should do. Since this is starting to depress you as well, it may be time to give yourself some distance from him to re-center and get yourself back to normal. You won't be able to help him if you are down as well. Just let him know how you feel about him, and try to take some space.


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