Guys, WHAT DOES HE WANT? Guy driving me in-saneeee?

Okay so this guy I was friends with benefits with has been driving me crazy. I think I hurt him in the beginning when I was really cold and wanted only sex which I thought he wanted. Then he started being mean as a reaction to my behavior. Then I started liking him and he kept on insisting he didn't feel that way but we kept on having sex. So now... We haven't had sex in over 3 months, he still says he doesn't want anything more from me... But watches everything I do and constantly picks a fight over for example the fact that he thinks I was looking at him the wrong way, or I made a comment he doesn't like. We agreed on acting NORMAL to each other after he initially said he only wants to say hi and then ignore each other, which is stupid to me. But after the constant fighting I'm just lost.

I think he likes me but doesn't want to admit because he either has been hurt in the past by girls, isn't ready for a relationship or i don't. Know.

guys, what's your take on this because I'm going crazy over here -_-


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What Guys Said 1

  • He is just being passive aggressive.

    I understand your frustration and I don't really see an end in sight. I've always been against friends with benefits, unless both parties are totally certain they are on the same wavelength. I have turned them down before because I realized we were going into it with different intentions and it was just going to get muddy, It is hard to tell sometimes though.

    In your case I think you need to set a boundary with him. Let's be honest you guy can't be friends. You aren't acting like it from the sounds of it either. Stop talking to him or engaging with him. If he ask's why tell him that this dance you guys are doing isn't healthy for you anymore and that you need some distance to re-balance yourself.

    Muddy waters only become clear when you leave it alone. That's exactly what you need to do. Who knows the time apart may make things clearer for both of you to come together. Either way it needs to happen.

    • You are a hero. Thank you for this!! I've been trying to act normal around him even though sometimes it's hard but I don't think I can do anything right at this point... Thanks again!

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    • Thing is, i just got back around 3 weeks ago from being abroad for 3 months. Since I got back, this started.. But i'll just follow your advice because talking to him is just going to make things worse, and it's not like he's responding anyway -_-

    • He is probably thinking in the back of his head that you have spent the last 3 months traveling having fun going out drinking, meeting random guys and hooking up/sleeping with them (not saying you have! but his imagination is not always based in reality) and it's making him insecure/passive aggressive.

      Either way though, you are on the right track. Let the dust settle for at least a month or two and go from there.

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