I really don't know what to think about my boyfriend. Someone help me understand what is going on!!! Is my boyfriend trying to make me jealous?

Ok, so I am in high school and my boyfriend is as well but he is a grade above me. He asked me out over the summer and we have now been dating for about 1 month. We are a really touchy-feely couple and he would always hold my hand or something. Now that we are in school we haven't had much alone time, or any at all for that matter. He takes me out to lunch everyday, but his friends are always with us. He only holds my hand when we are alone in his car. We haven't kissed for at least two weeks. He told me how he found my friend hot but he would never date her. Then he just told me (like literally today) how he had a thing with this other girl in the beginning of the summer (before he asked me out). This other girl just friended him on facebook, as in today. He told me he was falling for me and he really likes me. Then today when we went to the store during lunch there was another girl, a grade above him, in line buying something and her butt looked really good in the skirt. Then he said randomly, before I ever saw her, "Who is that?" I knew the girl so she noticed me and said hi. Then he keeps talking about his ex and how he hates her, but she is giving me dirty looks. He likes to tell me about girls he has had a thing with/dated and girls he finds hot. He hasn't shown me any affection besides putting his hand on my leg when we are driving to lunch, alone in his car.

I don't know what to think. He flirts with other girls in front of me. But, one time when i was walking out to his car after school, i was walking with one of his friends and we were laughing at each other. But when i looked at my boyfriend he kind of looked angry/sad at me for talking with his friend. The next day when i see my bf's friend, he completely ignores me and doesn't even say hi (that is unusual for him because he always says hi to me, we are friends). I just feel that during the summer he was A LOT more affectionate. Then again, we were alone so we would kiss and mess around a little bit.


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What Guys Said 1

  • What you've described is a guy who is extremely insecure about himself, especially in the dating world. This creates someone who is embarrassed to show public affection to their partner, makes them almost become hypocritical as he is willing to talk and flirt and talk to other girls but gets butt hurt when you talk to other guys. First, you have to remember that he is still in high school and guys have an extremely low maturity level. Girls have always matured faster so it's not a surprise to me that he's acting unstable while you're sitting back wondering why he's acting like this. Communication is a real key to a successful relationship, so if something is bothering you, it is your job to address it to him. To him it's not a big deal that he flirts with other girls, but gets angry or possibly disappointed when you talk to other guys. This is something that you need to talk to him about, not having double standards. If he's going to give you those looks when he's bringing his friends around, it's something he needs to be aware of since it's entirely possible he hasn't really noticed he's being hypocritical in the relationship. It's easier to see the flaws in others than ourselves. It's possible that from his perspective he isn't doing anything wrong with the girls, but when he sees you talking to his friends, he's seeing some flirting (Not saying you are, but it's what he's seeing). That's why you need to actually talk to him and discuss things that are bothering you. I had the same issue with my ex who did not like holding hands or kissing in public, and I did. So we talked about it and I worked with her and she worked with me. It's about compromise. I don't think he's trying to make you jelous, but there is certanly a good amount of misunderstanding and a deep lack of communication. And I'm not talk about you saying how it makes you feel bad and having him just say a quick sorry. Really talk to him and have him engage you in a real conversation. Again, no guarantees since he's in high school and lots of guys don't want to feel like they're being lectured (this will be guys in general). Try opening with his feelings about you talking with his friends. Get him to really interact with you about it. You shouldn't feel ashamed of wanting a boyfriend who is committed to you and not making you feel a lack. So get back there and tell him how you feel. Don't attack him, just open up to him and try to level with him. You'll do great!


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