im not trying to compete with anyone all i want is love! i cry at night thinking somethings wrong with me because i haven't found love.
I hate when people tell me it will happen when it happens. Or you find love when your not looking for it it annoys me when people tell me because A. there in relationships so what do they know B. I hate suprises and waiting
And im not ugly... Not at all. Very very insecure but im not ugly person on the outside or inside. im very Curvy yes but not ugly!
I see girls who are bigger than me or "considered less asttractive" by people who are married with kids and i dont get it!! I know its mostly the guys i pick. But honestly i can't help it. I tend to pick guys who seem nice and "Perfect like" charmers and sweet talkers who then turn into assholes and jerks who lie and ignore me. Now I've tried to talk to guys i normally wouldn't find attractive or aren't 'My type" and STILL same results! I dont get it!! yes i have standards but i dont think thier ridiculous ! i just ask you are fairly tall, Funny , sarcastic, romantic, sweet, smart, has a great job or career. i tend to fall for the 'class clown' type. Im almost 24 and in my mind im suppose to have been dating someone two years already or engaged. Im a hopeless romantic and i fall to easy and its a bad and a good thing.
I also have trust issues with guys because of past guys hurting me emotionaly and lieing!
Im 99% sure i will never find the one and ill be a 40 year old dog lady who is single!!
Guys aged 23-27 are still too immature and/or only want hookups. I don't mind hookups but I want something real
And before you ask yes I've tried online dating sites... Those are actually worse.
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Honestly you already stated what your issue is: "Very, very insecure."
When you're desperate for love, have low self esteem, and you're depressed, it's going to be hard to find somebody who will stick around. My father told me growing up that "You gotta learn to be alone before you can be in a real relationship" and I think this is very true. If you give off the vibe that you NEED to be in a relationship people will run the other way, because it comes up as a red flag. Add trust issues and insecurity on top of that - honey you're a walking red flag.
You need to work on yourself and just say fuck dating for a while. You need to get back to loving yourself and being emotionally independent before you even ATTEMPT to go on another date.