Why would a guy just be a jerk to a girl on a date?

i went on a date with a guy- suddenly he told me that he remembers meeting me years ago. He told me a few places we went and i barely remembered him. He seemed to remember me a lot and tell me he liked me, but at the time I was dealing with a crazy ex. He told me several times he liked me back then. I told him im older now and diff and I was dealing with a jerk back then but I was looking for someone to date too. At first, he seemed positive and nice.. but then suddenly, he started getting negative and weird. He began telling me he knew i wasn't happy and to tell him why. I told him that he couldn't judge other people's happiness and that he's really wrong.. and huh? he kept harping on it.. he also kept calling me negative for any little thing i said or did. The first hour he was nice and fun... then he just changed. A total jerk- he was literally mind screwing me and I was like.. ok you're being a jerk and huh... he kept saying No no you're not happy.. you're this you're that.. he wouldn't stop. He was really bringing me down and it was getting annoying. Then, there was just tension and quiet-

after that, he didn't talk much and got more condescending. Like, i tried to ask him a question, and he kept asking me to repeat myself, and was looking at me in derogatory way then insulted my question. I just said "what kind of girls did you meet online?" He was acting rude and saying.. what? what? i dont get it. He began being super negative and was just quiet and didn't talk. Prior to that, he was friendly and funny...
Then, we left... and even outside, he was dead silent and quiet- acting rude/weird. I was the one that despite feeling down kept initiating conversation- he then kept telling me i was negative, and was being hypocritical and weird. just putting me down acting crazy, rude. I said I have to go and left. He then texted me saying he's sorry he didn't mean to be a jerk and wasn't trying to be one- he was def trying to dominate me.. why would he do this
i dont think its b/c he was bitter from the past- or maybe it could be, but he just got so rude suddenly and for no reason at all. Suddenly he just started messing with my head and trying to bring me down and then it got worse. maybe he was trying to control my emotions or be negative.. I've had other guys just be jerks to me too for no reason- just to be negative but it makes no sense


Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds like the previous encounter and its recollection triggered some bad memories for him.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Cease all contact and avoid him. I don't know why someone would act like that, but he seems to have some serious problems.

    Men who want to control and manipulate usually tell a woman what she wants to hear, then slowly destroys her confidence once he gains her trust. He was acting like a psychopath on a first date... something is seriously wrong. Was he high or drunk? That's the first logical explanation for erratic behavior. I don't know what to tell you except I felt your discomfort in your writing and definitely stay away from him.


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What Guys Said 1

  • I made myself a rule: I will never ever give anyone who friendshipzoned me or anyone who was in my year in school a chance with me, ever. What makes it worse is that you didn't remember, which re-established the connection that "he wasn't worthy enough of female attention". So young basically threw him back to that time emotionally, unintentionally. I am more controlled and would of politely told you my situation and requested to be friends or let it be. But I do know some men can snap.


What Girls Said 2

  • I'm sorry, but this description is incredibly vague and just overall paints him in a bad light without giving any real details.

    At first I thought this was going in a direction where he was bitter about you not dating him in the past and not recognising him.

    But now I'm getting a very strong feeling of a one-sided story, so I'm sceptical about the accuracy of your description.

    • one sided story? im describing what happened... so yeah that makes no sense

    • no one cares.. you sound rude and stupid... next..

  • Because he's probably just a jerk in general.

    • he probably is- though he was nice at first and even pleasant to be around then just did a 180 for no reason and left me confused..

    • Show All
    • thanks ur sweet :)

    • i try hehe

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