Getting frustrated because I've never had a boyfriend with 26?

It's not that guys are not attracted, but mostly the wrong guys
When I was 20 I was in a on and off relationship, but it was crap. He took advantage of my vulnerability back then (I had some problems at uni etc). He was very impatient etc.
The guy before him was the same...
It just seems that the nice guys are not really interested in me...

by the way. I also want to tell that I dont like flirting and that i prefer direct guys who know straight away that they are interested.

I am slowly getting frustrated, because I feel ready to meet someone nice and have a normal relationship for the first time...
the last guy who was interested had a girlfriend, and I told him after 5 months that he should make a decision, but he obviously wants to stay with his girlfriend..

a few weeks ago i met someone else, nd we went on a day which was nice. After it, he kept texting me, sending me pics etc. He even scheduled second dates, but he has cancelled the last 2 times, because of work...(I stayed cool since I don't really bother)...

it's not that i dont show interest, I do, and I even approach guys, but this doesn't help either...
i feel that something is wrong with my behaviour... I just dont like flirting and I take relatinships serious, I don't want to start as friends with benefits or just flirt for motnhs and then approach to the next level... I now from the start if a guy might be boyfriend material, but these guys normally start playing games, or can't commit etc. I dont text a lot either, I am just direct about my intentions and tell them that I want to meet more often, but I leave them alone for like a week or 2.. I wouldn't say that i am clingy


Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't see anything wrong with your behaviour it's just that you are not attracting the nice guys who want serious relationships, not sure what could be the reason, you know sometimes the fault is not in us, the other person doesn't see our qualities.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I feel you, I'm in favor of direct communication of intentions and am not one to flirt. We all kind of need to go through a few bad dating experiences when we're young so we experience and learn. I got out of a bad relationship close to a year ago and haven't had dating or a serious relationship on my mind, but I recently met a guy who approached me at a music festival/ Alice In Chains concert and we've been chatting. Now that he's expressed interest, I want to give dating him a chance and take it slow. I'm afraid I haven't spent enough time on myself yet and hope I can be my best self, be emotionally available and retain my personal identity (lost myself being in a one-sided relationship. It really screwed with me, but I try to remind myself that my ex is the one with a problem.)

    Anyway, my point is I'm kind of in the same boat and you just need to focus on you, experience life, have fun and not worry. If a guy you're interested in is wishy-washy, don't waste time on him. You're not defective, you just seem to meet a lot of jerks. (What places do you usually first meet these guys?) Love seems to find a way in when you're not looking. Trying to let go of previous negative experiences and focus on what good relationships you have and will have helps.

    • i've been focusing on me for the past 10 years... i was open at some points to relationships, but one time i took a 2year break from guys!!

      i know people say that, but i have never been actively looking for love... i think I should start. All the guys approached me etc. I have never been actively looking, but just open to new relationships...

      i feel that I should start actively looking for the right guy and ditch the guys that don't fit into this pattern as soon as i detect some flaws...

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What Guys Said 3

  • wait u dated a guy with a gf? if you knew the whole time thats a problem and explains ur choice in men.

    • did i say i dated him? i just said he approached me and kept talking with me (to be friends apparently) but then showed his real intentions

    • oh sorry was confused haha

  • Not a big deal. I am 22 and I am still never dated anyone. In fact have talked to girls for more than a few words regarding work.
    So, stop feeling sorry. I wouldn't say I am ugly either.

  • You had an on and off relationship when you were 20 but you say you have never had a boyfriend, I'm confused?

    • it was on and off, because he never wanted to commit.. he didn't see us a boyfriend or girlfriend, but behaved like that

    • Show All
    • he wasn't committed to me, he intended to be with me, but he is a jerk... and still is

    • well be glad you are not a virgin

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