What do I do when my boyfriend doesn't make an effort to see me?

I'm a junior in college, and my boyfriend is a senior. I've been completely in love with him since freshman year, but he was reluctant to ask me out at first because his last relationship was when he was 17 and it ended with her cheating on him, so he swore off dating in college. He eventually changed his mind and we've been dating for almost 6 months now. Problem is I've basically had to teach him how to date. Even though we stayed in our college town over the summer and lived less than 5 minutes from each other, I'd go almost a week without hearing from him sometimes. We've had multiple talks (that turned into fights on my end) about how I can't go that long without seeing or hearing from him. I tried to break up with him twice but he wouldn't let me, saying I changed his mind about dating in college and he'd work hard to make things better between us. Things got better for a while, but now that school's started up again if I don't invite myself over on the weekends, I don't see him. And if I don't text him first I don't hear from him, and he usually takes hours to respond. We talked about communication (yet again) last night and he said he'll try to make an effort to text me more. I'm just frustrated. I've never felt pursued in this relationship, and I'm always the one making plans to see him. I really love him and know he loves me too, but I always feel like I'm giving more than he is. Since this is my first "real" relationship, I don't know if I'm asking for too much. I see all my friends spend time with their boy/girlfriends almost every day, and I really want that. I guess what I'm asking is should I continue being patient and having these talks with him, or should I just give up. I want this to work so badly because I know there's so much potential in our relationship, but constantly being the one to initiate everything is wearing me out.


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  • I'd say he is not a boyfriend.


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