How do I friendzone a guy whitout loosing him as a friend?

So, there is a guy from my old school who have just recently started to make contact with me. He asked if we could do something some day, and I said yes. We went to have lunch, he held the door open, pulled out my chair and paid for the food... I slowly realized that this was not just a meeting between friends and that he probably thought it was a date... A ''situation'' occured where I pretty much had to agree to go to a movie with him a week later too, and well he is a really really really nice guy, but the problem is that I think he really likes me (he gives me pretty much every signal in the book) and i say ''problem'' because no matter of how much I want to like him there is just no attraction!! So, I have realized that I have to put him in the friendzone... We only meet on these ''dates'' but i really want to keep seeing him, but just as a friend! How o I friendzone his guy without making him not want to see me again? Girls, what would you do? Guys, would you still see a girl if she put you in the friendzone?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hm, gotta say I hate how you worded this question lol. like you're subjecting him to keep being the boyfriend without the relationship part and you're aware of it. No offense or anything, sorry if it comes off harsh.

    But you just tell him and let him down respectfully and easily. You tell him you genuinely enjoy his company, having his friendship but anything further like a relationship isn't possible at this time. As you feel no attraction towards him and it wouldn't be fair to you or him to just start something just to quell his feelings. As feelings should be reciprocated and following both people liking each other thus a relationship can form.

    Let him know you weren't trying to lead him on by hanging out, but it was fun and you'd like to continue hanging out as friends. Now be aware...

    If he hangs in there as your friend and you're aware of his feelings. You MUST keep it friendly, not any misleading physical contact or flirting of any kind. as it will always confuse him as to your actuons and make him think there's more to things. Goodly like with this:).

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't tell him you're friendzoning him. Just act like friends.

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    • I have tried to, but for some damn reason we always seem to end up in some ''romantic'' situation... I don't think he will get it :(

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What Guys Said 4

  • You definitely need to have an open conversation with him about what you want. Be direct and to the point. You don't need to shout and cuss: you can do it and be polite. Have the talk in a neutral place where you both can talk in a relaxed tone and where you have some mild privacy, and when you have time for a prolonged conversation.

    Some extra notes:

    First: you need to have this conversation with him *soon.* He definitely likes you more than just a friend. He is trying to be your prince charming, and is hoping that it will appeal to you. The longer you wait, the *worse* you are going to hurt him later.

    Second: be prepared, you can NOT friendzone him and simultaneously not cause him hurt. The longer you delay being completely candid with him, the more time he gets to develop deeper feelings for you. This is why you need to do this soon.

    Third (and I know this is something you don't want to hear): you will likely lose him. Maybe for a time, maybe permanently. Essentially, friendzoning him *is* telling him that you're not interested. He might be ok with it, or he might give up. What's the point in trying for you since he will clearly never have you? If he becomes noticeably withdrawn, let him be. He needs time to let go of his feelings for you, and that is very hard if you're still around regularly.

    If he is ok being a friend, do NOT: be flirty with him; tell him he is like a "prince charming" to you (even if he is); or be very touchy-feely with him. You can give a complement, say "thank you," etc., but anything affectionate could give him the idea that you want more.

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  • You don't. all you will do is create a future bitter man, if he is good enough to be a friend he is good enough to be more, stop being shallow. if he is into you are more than a friend either hook up with him or cut him loose anything else is giving the poor guy false hope.

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  • This is a tough one since you guys have "hung out" already a few times. Honestly you might just have to bring it up. And tell him you're not sure if he thinks of what you're doing as dates or not and you don't want there to be confusion. Don't just say straight out of the gate you're not interested in the off chance that he also only wanted to be friends because then you'd look really full of yourself assuming he wanted more.

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    • Well, he made pretty sure it was dates so there is no confusion... he really really insists on, you know, holding doors, paying for everything and it makes me feel really bad... can I say that i just want to be friends or is that rude? Shall I ask if i can pay back some money? or is it weird? but i don't want it to seem like i was using him! :/

    • You could do that. Just know that there may be no way where he doesn't become offended and hurt. But just be straightforward but nice about it. And yeah that might lessen some tension a little if you also start paying as well.

  • The worst thing to do is friend zone him, if he really likes you he will notice what you're doing and might get sad or angry. The best thing to do is either tell him exactly what you want from him, or try and make him not like you as much. But I think telling him exactly what you think and want is the best option, as he can't get mad or upset. I hope this helps and good luck to you both.

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