I had to cut a girl out of my life whom I loved... now what?

I got really close to this girl at college. On paper, she's everything I want in a girl - smart, funny, gets my jokes, I can be myself around her, gorgeous legs, we can talk about anything for hours on end.

But she's also very emotionally immature and doesn't know what she wants. All of my friends were sure she liked me, and at times I was sure too, but then she'd go cold. She'd be all over me. I'd make some romantic overture. She'd go distant. I'd get sad and stop talking to her. She'd pull me back all like "I miss you, I haven't seen you." Rinse, wash, repeat.

I graduated and the hot-cold stuff continued. I sent her an emotional birthday text highlighting how special she is. She told me how much it meant to her and that she was really touched, but then in subsequent days pretended it never happened.

At the end of the summer, she changed her profile pic on Facebook to her and another guy. I knew she had an on-off boyfriend back home whom she never mentioned at all to me, but it still hurt.

I wrote her a 5-page letter explaining basically "I love you and I want to be with you, but I can't be with you the way things are right now. Our friendship is not honest. I don't expect you to leave your boyfriend, but me pretending to be just your friend is me being something I'm not. I gotta go. I'm sorry."

She hasn't responded. I just want to know if I did the right thing... and how to avoid relapses, like reaching out to her or something. I still feel that no friendship is better than a half-honest one.


Most Helpful Girl

  • You did the right thing.. :) If she really cares or misses you, she will be the one to reach out first.. But if not, well, screw it


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What Girls Said 1

  • I would say if she messages you again or wants to be with you again, tell her she has to build your friendship and trust with you and no more hot-cold stuff. Tell her if she really wants you then she has to stop playing these games. If thats what you want of course...


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