He is expecting to have sex with me again?

I met him like 2 weeks ago. In the second date I slept with him. I know it was too soon but I don't regret because I felt incredible good with him and is not like I was expecting a relationship.

He is very sweet and he texted me the same night that we slept together. The he texted me a day after and he is very nice. He wants to see me again but he invited me to his apartment because he wants to cook for me. Of course he wants to have sex again because why I wouldn't do it again if I already did?

I don't want to do it but I do like him. If I go to his apartment and don't have sex with him I would look like a tease or it would be stupid?


Most Helpful Guy

  • (rolls eyes)

    I suppose being honest with him and telling him something like, "I'm on a mission to reclaim my virginity," will help make things better (sarcasm emphasized).

    I'll cut to the chase.

    "I don't want to do it"


    Right? I mean, that's the million dollar question. "Why?"

    And not, "Why did you want to do it then, but not now?" Nope, nobody cares about that. Instead, the real question is simple, "Why don't you want to have sex with him?"

    The only relevance of having sex with him on a recent and prior occasion is that it eliminates some of the reasons why you wouldn't want to have sex with him (e. g., because you don't find him physically attractive, because you don't feel comfortable around him, because you find his personality repulsive, etc.).

    So, what is it?

    Could it be... "is not like I was expecting a relationship" (when you first had sex with him), but now, after you saw and felt that "He is very sweet and he texted me the same night that we slept together... he texted me a day after and he is very nice... he invited me to his apartment because he wants to cook for me" ... and that now all of a sudden... "I do like him" ...

    ... that you're having some "thoughts" dominate the discussion in your head?

    1. Is he just interested in me for sex?
    2. Will he still be interested in me if we don't have sex?
    3. I don't want him to think negatively of me, because of the early sex.
    4. If I stop having sex with him, will it make up for the fact that we had sex "too soon"?

    All of these anxieties and fear statements, all because now you "like him." Now, you see the potential of a relationship with him, and you're looking to feel that 3-month probationary period "he's not just interested in me for sex" verification... the only problem being that you slept with him on the second date.

    I'm not sure "tease" is the right word, or anywhere close.

    I think you'll just come off as confused, because, well, it sounds like you are. It's going to be like, "Ugh, what kind of game is she playing?" One second you're not like the typical "Oh, no, I can't, I shouldn't, I'm so confused and emotionally perplexed" kind of girl, then overnight the true colors start showing and it's, "Oh, no, I can't, I shouldn't, I'm so confused and emotionally perplexed."

    Not that there's anything "wrong" with that, but its sort of difficult to feel (as a guy) that you have a good idea at that point of who this person is emotionally.

    • Well I am Czech, we usually don't wait 3 months to have sex. I know I would not do it but I also know that guys will not judge me but this guy is from Israel. And I didn't though that I will like him so much so you are right! now I am thinking maybe it was too fast and now I don't want him just for sex.

    • All I'm saying is, you went through the most emotionally difficult part. You had sex for the first time with a new guy.

      Do you think he has any trouble going out in the world and finding a typical girl? Female anxiety regarding sex is normal and typical. You started off as not typical, and he's not just keeping you at bay. He's inviting you closer to his life, he's trying to show you affection in a way he believes is meaningful to you (as a woman).

      I think there are better ways to alleviate the fears and anxieties regarding how he feels about you and whether this relationship is just about sex.

      Don't inadvertently make it seem like you're cool and clear-headed one day, but emotionally confused and overly-emotional the next day or week.

      Don't let your temporary fears and anxieties distort the picture of what your true baseline personality is, and what a relationship with you would be like.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • Say something. You felt like you rushed things last time, and you want to take things slow, and that's all you have to say.

    He knows what he's getting into if you say something. He doesn't if you don't.

  • Be prepared for him to be a little hurt and disappointed. As far as he knows, you both had a wonderful time and he wants to come back for more. Using the period excuse may work if it really *is* that time.

  • It's your pussy you have the say. You might tell him why

  • Yes. He absolutely does


What Girls Said 4

  • But why you don't want to have sex with him? If it's just because you think it's too soon because people will judge you or whatever, you're making a mistake. If he's such a nice, sweet guy, if he treats you good and if you enjoyed having sex with him just go for it! If you really don't want to you should go to his apartment anyway. If he's that nice he won't force you to do anything you don't want to.

  • Say you have your period.

    If he can enjoy your company without making a huge deal about sex, then he most likely liked you as much as you do him.

  • he wants sex again but after dinner, try to talk to him about not doing it.

  • I'm 90% sure he will want sex. On that note, you could say "I like you, but I'd rather not have sex again until I get to know you more" or something like that - whatever is holding you back.


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