I can't sleep at night because all I can think about is the guy I love and it's just... hopeless.
Especially considering I have SEVERE clinically diagnosed Social anxiety. (As well as 2 other anxiety disorders, that are kind of irrelevant for this question) I can't approach him about my feelings. I really can't.
When I say I love him, I really mean I LOVE him. I don't throw that word around and I don't see just anyone as someone I love. Especially when we are talking about romantic love. I've never felt like this towards anyone ever and I have no doubt. This "little crush" has been going on and only growing for my entire life minus about 5 years. (I've liked him since we were little kids)
Everything reminds me of him and I wish I could spend every second with him but I can't and the feeling does not seem to be mutual.
I don't understand my feelings. I don't understand why they're so confusing.
I mean look at me. It's 4 AM and I'm here rambling on and complaining and being confused and probably being very scattered about how I am organizing this because I'm not.
What do I do. Why do I love him. How do I stop.