I can't understand my feelings. What's wrong with me?

I feel so stupid for being in love with someone that sees me as basically a sister. It's so hopeless. I don't understand why. I don't understand how. I've become so desperate that I have even google searched and looked at those dumb and cheesy websites that give you tips on this kind of stuff.
I can't sleep at night because all I can think about is the guy I love and it's just... hopeless.
Especially considering I have SEVERE clinically diagnosed Social anxiety. (As well as 2 other anxiety disorders, that are kind of irrelevant for this question) I can't approach him about my feelings. I really can't.
When I say I love him, I really mean I LOVE him. I don't throw that word around and I don't see just anyone as someone I love. Especially when we are talking about romantic love. I've never felt like this towards anyone ever and I have no doubt. This "little crush" has been going on and only growing for my entire life minus about 5 years. (I've liked him since we were little kids)
Everything reminds me of him and I wish I could spend every second with him but I can't and the feeling does not seem to be mutual.
I don't understand my feelings. I don't understand why they're so confusing.
I mean look at me. It's 4 AM and I'm here rambling on and complaining and being confused and probably being very scattered about how I am organizing this because I'm not.
What do I do. Why do I love him. How do I stop.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Dont concentrate on him. Do what makes you happy, pick up a hobby, live your life! Even though you are young, it will help you to do something outside of your normal day such as hobbies. It will not only help you become your own person, but it will help take your mind off of him for a bit if you allow it to. You have the power whether you understand that yet or not to control your thoughts and take over your mind! Someday when you're both grown, he will either see the independent, beautiful woman you've become, or he won't and another guy will see you, and honey, HE is missing out.


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