How "judgmental" are you in dating and romantic relationships?

We just had a question about how judgmental people are in general. I was surprised. Most people seemed to vote between 7-10/10 and while we see many judgmental people in the world, it was surprising to see that because often times people on forums don't admit to it, or the people posting on forums are often not those type of people.

I also noticed users breaking it down in terms of the type of interpersonal relationship. Dating is where it seems to be the highest, and as a result, I'd like to take a poll focusing only on how judgmental you think you are with respect to dating.

Rate yourself out of FIVE.

Definition of "judgmental": having or displaying an excessively critical point of view.

I have to say, as much as I hate judgments, and in spite of the fact that I am very open-minded in general especially when it comes to sexual past (I have a zero-judgment policy in that regard), I'd still probably give myself a "2", which I think is reasonable. You have to have some standards. But I think quite a few people definitely go way too far with ideals and expectations and the prevalence of that in this society is what I am attempting to "measure" with this poll.
  • 0: Not judgmental at all/almost completely open-minded.
    Vote A
  • 1: Mildly judgmental. There are a few very basic things you're judgmental over, but otherwise you're very open-minded.
    Vote B
  • 2: Somewhat judgmental. There are quite a few things that you're critical about, but they're still mostly pretty basic qualities. You occasionally make assumptions.
    Vote C
  • 3: Moderately judgmental. You have a few basic and specific things you look for. You sometimes make assumptions.
    Vote D
  • 4: Quite judgmental. There are a lot of things you expect. You are on the verge of having a laundry-list. Assumption-making is quite frequent.
    Vote E
  • 5: Very Judgmental. You're looking for "perfect". You extrapolate the slightest flaw into a huge red-flag. You have a laundry list of qualities, some very narrow, that you look for. Assumption-making is widespread.
    Vote F
  • See results.
    Vote G
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy


Most Helpful Girl

  • Very. If I'm going to open up to someone and give them my heart, I'm going to be very judgmental and I'm going to make sure they're worthy of giving of my feelings to


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm quite judgmental, because life is too short to waste on people you aren't a good match with.


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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 5

  • Mildly. I can't just not think badly of someone who discrimates or bashes a innocent group of people. And hypocrites.

  • I can't vote because I'm not sure what you mean by judgmental. Or the "I have a few things I look for. " I have a feeling you're referring to pasts in general?

    • How harshly do you criticize potential romantic partners? Their past is one characteristic.

    • Show All
    • It's a long story. This is partly why I am in therapy.

    • Ah well if you ever need a chat you can message me.

  • I'm veryyyy picky but not judgmental? If that makes sense

  • Quite judgmental

  • Vote F x 10000000000000000


What Guys Said 6

  • I rarely make assumptions, but I DO have a list of standards that I expect out of a woman I'm interested in.

    Looks wise, as long as they have a nice face, are of a healthy weight, and are shorter than me (I'm 6 feet tall), I'm all good. Green eyes and honey blonde hair happens to be my favorite eye & hair color, but it's not mandatory. I'd be perfectly fine with brunettes and redheads, brown eyed girls and blue eyed girls, and so on.

    As for her personality, I want a girl who:
    - Appreciates the fine arts, especially music (if she can sing or play instruments, that's a HUGE plus)
    - Is respectful towards others, particularly my mother and brother (I don't care she won't act all buddy-buddy with them, but she WILL show them respect)
    - Knows what they want to do with their life and has a plan on how to achieve their goals, or at least has an idea of what they want to do with their life (I associate lack of ambition with ignorance and ignorant women turn me the hell off)
    - Is great with kids, wants to get married, and have kids one day (this is the one thing I will NEVER "compromise" -- if she's doesn't like kids or want them then I'm not dating her, it wouldn't matter if she was perfect in every other way)
    - Doesn't smoke (I'd tolerant weed as long as she doesn't do it at my place and doesn't try to get me to smoke it, but I would not tolerate cigarettes)
    - Doesn't drink excessively (I'd be fine with drinking a moderate amount every now and then, but I will not date an alcoholic)
    - Believe in many of the things I believe in (at least when it comes to politics)

    And yeah, that's it.

  • Unlike most surveys, yours was pretty well designed with a good range of classifications. I wish everyone did as well.

  • Probably a 4.5 , There's a lot of risks in dating like: heartbreak, getting cheated on, getting an std, getting divorced and being financially fucked by the court system. With all these considered I'd like to be very selective about who I'm willing to take those risks on rather than settle and take those risks on someone who isn't truly what I'm looking for.

    I'd rather be single and alone than settle.

  • I'm very simple if she has short hair I'd take her more seriously if not I wouldn't other than that I don't care if she's a schizo lol

  • It's hard to negatively rate yourself. I don't even know how I'm judgmental because I don't know the extent of what 'judgmental' even is. I mean, if I didn't want to approach a person that was of bad odor and looked worn out, that would technically make me judgmental because it might be a kindhearted and poor Buddhist underneath all of that. But am I wrong for proposing the idea that it might just be another druggy bum that could stab me for some cash? I don't think so.
    The same way there's nothing wrong with not wanting to be with someone based on arbitrary factors that are all defined differently from person to person.

    I have said this countless times? Would I date a promiscuous woman? No. But would I shame or judge her in any way? Also no. Her life is her life and what she does doesn't affect me at all. But I still have the freedom to not be with her and I express that freedom without being negative towards her like most people who prefer to slutshame.

  • Your choices of how you decided to rate and there descriptions are fairly biased I would say I have standards, that dose not make me or anyone else judgmental. I have a certain level of of physical standard that ranges from just under my own physical level of fitness to maybe a bit higher as well as other standard with a similar range. Things like how well they take care of themselves mostly, but will also go towards deeper things like beliefs and values after getting further into a relationship.

    Yes standards will start with more physical things and slowly get more personal. I wouldn't say I have any sort of list as I like many things and I don't make assumptions (assumptions are not even related to this scale you've created) but a relationship is very personal so if someone wants their partner to have a very particular trait I would not hold that against them.


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