Why can't my boyfriend make up his mind whether he wants to be with me?

My ex boyfriend and I had an argument the other day over the fact that he wasn't getting any sex. I'm still a virgin and wanted to wait a bit more until I was ready. We had only been dating a bit over a month.

Whenever I asked him what we should do next (whether we were breaking up or not), he told me he didn't know and tried dodging the question. I asked him 3 times whether we should break up or not and he would try and ignore the question.

At the end he said he really liked me and that he wished he didn't have to break up with me. He wished that I hadn't been a virgin because he doesn't want to hurt me in any way.

Why was he dodging my question when I asked him where we stood and whether we should break up?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Because he is unsure of his own feelings, he needs more time, or there is another girl.


Most Helpful Girl

  • He's not sure what he wants to do. He wants sex, and needs sex by the sounds of it, but he loves you and doesn't want to let you go.

    He's conflicted. But honestly, if the guy can't handle you being a virgin, then he isn't the right guy for you. Don't give it up to him just to keep him. You two have only been together for a little over a month. That's hardly a long time to wait.

    My current boyfriend waited 4 months before we had sex. And we both had sex with other people before we got together. He just wanted to take things slow and I respected that.

    You need to find a guy who can respect your beliefs. It might be hard, but sex isn't everything. If he truly loves you, he will wait until you are ready :)

    • Thank you for your answer :) yes, you are definitely right. A bit over a month isn't very long to wait and I do understand that sex is important in a relationship. I was planning on having sex with him but would have preferred if he didn't bring it up that early as it made me feel like that he didn't really care for me.

    • You are exactly right to feel that way. I would feel that way too. He basically screwed himself over by not being patient. He would have gotten what he wanted had he just waited and was patient. Instead, it almost seemed like he was trying to push you into having sex with him or he would leave.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Simple. He absolutely wants to have sex but he loves you very much. He feels like letting you go for sex would be a waste, yet, he needs sex. He avoided the question because he doesn't have the answer and can't make up his mind.


What Girls Said 2

  • I think he's waiting for you to say you will have sex with him and that's why he's avoiding. If I were you, I would stay away from him. If he really was into you then he wouldn't have broken up with you just because you won't sleep with him. He should be okay with waiting until your ready.

    • I know. I told him that myself as well. If he really was into me, then he should have been able to wait a bit longer. Besides, we hadn't been dating for that long and for him to bring it up so soon made me realise that he most probably just wanted sex and didn't care for me at all.

    • He might still care but it was really insensitive of him to bring it up that soon in dating.

  • Read the book why men love bitches. It might give you more confidence because you come across needy. I'm sorry I don't want to offend but asking him three times like you have no worth or value in this relationship is wrong. You have a say too. Don't let him hold all the cards and he wants you to feel bad for not being ready not a f... king hope. You dance to your own tune