How to deal with cheating, help please?

I've been dating this girl for about a month now, and it was going really well and we were really liking each other. I was at the point where if I was to go out with my friends I wouldn't be getting with other girls. She said to me to come over and we need to talk, she then told me that she went out on the weekend and kissed another guy, soon after she said she went back to his place and they slept together. It hurts so much cause she said she does like me and she still wants to hang out. It goes against everything that I stand for to keep hanging out with her but there is a big part of me that really wants to.

What should I do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • You should dump her... She plays with your feelings, doesn't seem to be willing to commit... find someone who deserves you better


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  • You said "it got to a point where when I would go out with friends, I wouldn't pursue other girls."
    well, she didn't pursue other guys, but it happened and she got with him.
    Very mature of her to tell you.
    You never said "we decided we liked each other, and didn't want to see other people; we became exclusive"
    therefore, your behaviour is appropriate, and her behaviour is appropriate. Your emotions are valid, but only her reaction is valid. She wanted to sleep with him, so she did, and she told you.
    You are hurt by it because you like her, so you tell her so, and express that you would like to be exclusive.
    No one cheated.

    • That's a really good way of putting it actually. So to follow up, she also said that the only reason she would be reluctant to commit would be that she doesn't trust herself to not get with another guy, and if that happens she doesn't want me to be hurt. What's your take on that?

    • Very understandable, and again, very mature of her to tell you, (really), but I hope that you think she is trustworthy because if not you're wasting your time.
      My take is that you can only build the kind of emotion that keeps you with one person over time, so if you're willing to put your heart out there, you should accept her terms and stay friends with true romantic potential, and hope that something blossoms. I'm not suggesting you guard your heart, rather, you do need to actively pursue her, but do it slow and steady and understand that she's not ready to be locked down yet. Give her room to breath, and in time she may see that you really are the best option, a great guy who respects and values her opinion, isn't petty, has things going for him, and can offer her what these other guys can't.
      Again, if she's worth it.

  • Dude, she's only been dating you for a month and she already cheated on you. Dump that Ho, and if she comes crawling after you keep moving. She's not worth your time or tears.