How could I love myself if no one loves me?

Seriously, people always say you have to "love yourself first" as if that's so easy, and, my question is, how is that even possible? Hell, how would they even know, considering those people aren't actually isolated to begin with? But, yeah, how do you love yourself if no one else loves you? How do you have confidence if you've failed your entire life?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Telling someone no-one can love them until they love themselves is a cruel lie, although most people when they say it have good intentions. Loving yourself is important, but it's for you and your wellbeing, not for anyone else. And for some people it's incredibly hard, some people have been bullied for example, or suffer from mental illnesses that lie to them, telling them they're worthless. Don't ever believe that you don't deserve love because you struggle loving yourself.

    Being isolated hurts, it makes you feel like you've failed. But it does not make you unloveable and someone is going to love you.

    I'm sure you aren't a failure, Anon. You feel like it, because you're having a bad time right now, but you are still here, you are still surviving, and you are doing your best I'm sure. That is the most anyone can ask of you and I'm sure someone will appreciate the fuck out of you.

    Loving yourself when your self esteem is low is hard. You should start with taking care of yourself; be kind to your body, eat well, get enough sleep, make sure you're clean and comfortable. Try and recognise the kinds of things you say to yourself in your head - they are probably way too harsh if you're feeling like a failure. If you wouldn't say something to someone else because it's hurtful, it's not okay to say it to yourself either. Don't worry if just looking after yourself is all you can manage some days. On better days though, you should really try and look for the things you do like about yourself; your best features, achievements, however small, that you're proud of. They matter. You matter.

    I'm sorry that you're feeling so down at the moment. I really hope that you feel better soon <3


Most Helpful Guy

  • You have to be happy with the person you are. Look in a full length mirror and ask yourself if you like the person you see. Not just the physical person, but the personality, too. If you find you have issues with yourself, ask how they can be put right. Ask if these issues really matter.

    I'll give you an example. A girl looks in the mirror and says she's got an issue with her flat boobs. She's making an issue out of something that really and truly doesn't matter. There are millions of guys in the world that love small boobs.

    Look at yourself. Am I handsome? No, but I'm good enough! Have I got a friendly personality? Yes, I know I have! Do I dress smartly? Yes, smart, but casual when appropriate!

    Some things you might see as needing improving, so figure out ways of doing that. Eventually, you will look and say, "I like the guy in the mirror. He may not be the best, but he's good enough for anything". The love and confidence has started!!


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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 1

  • Perhaps you should look at it from a different perspective. It is not written anywhere that other people loving you is the default position. You say one must be loved by others before they could love themselves but that is not definite. You yourself are giving yourself an obstacle. Just think with the mentality that the default is you loving yourself and someone else loving you is secondary. That's what I have been doing.