Is it wrong of me to refuse to ask this girl that likes me out, and wait for her to ask me out?

There is this girl that I have mixed feelings for, I can't decide whether or not I like her, and she really really likes me, I have known since the day I met her that she likes me. Right now I am quite tired of asking women out, I am not good at it (even if I know the girl likes me), I always second guess myself, and I just have a horrible time leading up to and after asking her out, even if she says yes; so I dont feel like asking, especially since I dont know how I feel about this girl. I decided that if she was willing to ask me out, then I would date her, but I am not going to spend the time and energy trying to ask her out (and it takes me a lot of energy to ask women out because I am so bad at it). So far she has been trying to get me to ask her, by giving ever more blatant hints that she likes me. I already know she likes me, I have known for about 3 months, but I guess she thinks I am oblivious to it because she keeps hinting. She has suggested we "go to the movies" a couple times and I expressed interest in seeing those movies, but she didn't ask me out. I dont really care either way, but she keeps hinting at me and its kind of getting on my nerves since I already know she is into me. I am really against the stereotype of men asking women out so I am going to make this girl ask me out, and experience what I had to go through for years, its not a punishment for being a girl, its just that I dont know how I feel about her, and I kind of like a couple other girls, but if she asks me out I will say yes, because that shows she likes me enough to go out of her comfort zone. My friends are calling me a d-ck for leading this girl on and not asking her out, but I have agreed that I will say yes if she asks me out, its not like I am shutting her down, I am just trying to guage how much she really likes me, and since I am done asking women out I am certainly not goign to do it unless I really really like the girl.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Prepare to be a very, very lonely boy/man.
    Step up, be a man and ask her out or tell her you are not interested so she can focus her attentions on someone worthwhile. I'm sure you also expect colleges to reach out to you without applying or jobs to reach out and tell you they want you without applying as well. just because you are against the stereotype of men asking women out doesn't mean the world will suddenly change so you can feel more comfortable.

    • The difference is, women are fully capable of asking men out, they just choose not to. Why? Because they mostly use gender as an excuse not to "I'm a girl, I'm more sensitive to rejection then you" is one I hear a lot, what they dont know is that in 9th grade I cried in my room for days after getting shut down the first time, I am very sensitive to rejection, and girls actually get mad at me for it, they tell me to "be a man" as you do, and expect me to act a certain way because I have a penis. Well I got news for you, Being a man doesn't instantly mean you are confident, impervious to rejection, and outgoing. You can't stereotype all men as being capable of asking women out. I have asked girls out before, and I HATE IT, its fine for a little while, but gets freaking old after EVERY FREAKING GIRL doesn't DO ANYTHING TO INITIATE THE FREAKING RELATIONSHIP, IT PISSES ME OFF. As this girl is demonstrating, she would rather not date me then ask me out.

    • When most women are too hands off to do anything to get the relationship moving it tires you out having to do everything. Women like that are a dime a dozen, they are everywhere, whats really special though is a woman who can ask me out. That shows I mean a lot to her, she doesn't want to let me go like all the girls who choose not to ask me out because they dont want to. Its really something when a girl asks a guy out, I have done polls and guys almost unanimously agree they wish girls asked them out more (as in literally 99 percent, 1 guy here or there has some argument against it, but when I have dozens and dozens of guys with this mentality then I know its not just me.) Go ahead do a poll, you will see what I mean. Us guys are tired of having to initiate everything, it sucks. Thats how women stick out to us now, if she comes up and asks you out then she really sticks out amongst the hoards of women that hide in the background and hope you ask them out.

    • I agree women should ask men out. I have no problem with that at all but if you are going to spend your life not stepping up, you ARE going to have a very lonely existence. In life, you need to figure out what you want and go for it. You can't just wait for something to happen. Listen kid, I'm trying to give you valuable advice, if you don't want it. Fine by me. I certainly won't be asking you out.

Most Helpful Guy

  • It's not wrong but it's kind of lame. But i suppose the reason you haven't asked is because you aren't really sure if you want to, so it makes sense. Try to make your mind up because the situation probably sucks on her end.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • Its not that common that girls will ask guys out, i don't really know why we don't but i would say that you have to figure out what you want. Because you say that if she asks you out you will say yes, so you are willing to try and find out what could happen. So either ask her out before she gets tired of you and see where it goes cause i really doubt she will ask you.

  • It depends if you want to get to know her and establish something with her or not. I think when 2 people are genuinely interested in each other, all else shouldn't even be thought about. Like hey I'm into her, so I'll ask her out because that's what I want-- if she says no, big deal, nothing lost. It really isn't worth spending time thinking about


What Guys Said 1

  • If you take too long, she will move on. Why not give it a shot? She might get you off the fence. If you really don't want to, don't do it for her. If you kind of do, go for it. Remorse is better than regret.
    Don't invest so much right off the bat. Have fun, but if it doesn't work then oh well.