Is it normal to feel like you are losing interest and then all the sudden your feelings hit you like a mack truck?

My boyfriend and I have been together off and on for around four years now. So this might be a stupid question to ask, especially given the time length of our relationship. However, some days I just get really annoyed by him for whatever reason. Big and small. I just want him to leave me alone and give me some space to be by myself. Not single, just give me some fresh air to breath instead of being smothered. He doesn't give me space. Ever. He means well though.. I have a rough history of depression and given his experience, if he leaves me alone he thinks I will fall back into that place. This isn't the case but he believes it is, and I do genuinely appreciate his efforts. However, I still need my "me" time. During these times I get so caught up in frustration because I can't even read a book and sip some wine without him harping on me. My frustration turns into me feeling as though I am slowly losing interest.
But then there are other times where I wake up and go for days feeling like I can not get enough of him. He consumes my every thought and even while he is snuggled up beside me, I still feel like he isn't close enough. During these times he often laughs at me and tells me that I am bipolar, lol. Which I may be borderline, who knows. But he's always light spirited and he never ever holds this against me. He is an all around sweet heart and I love him to death.
But I guess I just don't understand if it is normal for me to want to distance myself after months of never getting alone time. I mean, sometimes I just wanna cuddle up with my blanket and read my favorite book while sipping on some cheap red wine. Is it normal to get this frustration and sudden "lack of interest" (though that's really not the term, I've always wanted him. Just need my space occasionally).


Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes it is. Everyone needs alone time and successful couples learn how to do that for each other


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What Girls Said 1

  • Do you two live together?

    • Yes. We have for three years.

    • Ok. Well I would say as a normal woman with your own needs and interests, you're perfectly entitled to your own space. I would go nuts if my partner was hovering over my shoulder constantly! Go find your space - see your friends, go to a coffee shop and read if you have to. Know that it's ok to be apart as it means you get to miss each other for a bit :)

    • True! ;)

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