Lead on? Should I give her an ultimatum?

So long story short. I dated this girl my sophomore year of high school. We dated only briefly. Then she moved away. We occasionally texted over the next 2 years. But after my senior year ended I actually saw this girl again but I had a girlfriend at the time. (We are both are freshmen in college now.) So we really didn't get to connect to much again. But this girl is special and as weird it is to say I know I love her. After all these years she's still constantly on my mind. Currently we both live in different states. But a few months ago we talked/ facetimed quite a bit. We talked about us dating and if it could work out, what we want in life, and emotional stuff. Very positive feedback. But all of a sudden our conversation just ended.

Well now I'm currently just realizing I just got lead on hard core. And I'm just not too sure what to think and that's why I'm asking it on here to get your opinions. Should I message her and spike up a conversation as Winter break is coming up soon in a few months (keep it casual). Or should I message her a novel and basically explain that "I feel lead on and unless she wants to try and reconnect. We could try and date and see each other on breaks (tell her how I feel). Or just cut all ties in life and social media because I just can't stand it that she's so close to my heart but doesn't see me in that way (ultimatum)."

Edit: By ultimatum side I meant if I tell her how I feel and she says no to just cut all ties.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Have you been trying to contact her in this time? I think you should clear things up between you and her before you move on, since you don’t want any misunderstands later on. Have a talk to her, best would be face to face, and demand some explanations. Tell her that you felt lead on, that you started to have some feeling for her and see what her intentions are, since you aren’t willing to wait for her anymore. At least you shouldn’t be willing to wait for her.

    • We've know each other for about 4+ years. We haven't talked in about 2 months since she never responded. Haven't texted her since then.

      We can't talk face to face as we are in different states.

      What do you think I should do?

    • Show All
    • So what are you saying? I'm not going to just show up at her state. Ya that would be really weird. Should I send her a text or just decide to move on?

    • Send her a text telling her that whatever was between you two is over now and you are ready to move on and so should she. If she responds fine if she doesn’t it’s still fine. Stop waiting for her, it’s not worth it.

Most Helpful Guy

  • If she stopped talking to you, then it was just talk. It's time to cut ties and move on.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Mmmhh... you dont know why she stopped talking to you suddenly, at least that's how it seems. Has it been a few days since you talked last, or longer? Have you tried to reach out to her to see what's up?

    I don't see any problem with telling her you feel lead on, if you have good cause to believe it, but I wouldn't give any ultimatum yet. Also, does she know how deep your feelings go?

    • It's been about 2 months. She hasn't texted me since our last conversation. She never responded. :/
      She knows quite a bit. I wouldn't say love to her because we haven't dated in so long but she knows I like her.

What Guys Said 1

  • Ultimatum? Do you want to declare war?

    • Like cut all ties if she doesn't feel the same way or if there's no potential.

    • Sounds good

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