Have you ever dated someone unhappy or who made you feel not like yourself?

The person is a down on his luck kind of guy (grew up in a rough neighborhood, rough relationship with parents, a recovering heroin addict, has a child with a woman who is on drugs, no education, no car, and no place to live other than with his parents). I am basically the opposite of him: degree, graduate degree, no kids, great job, no drugs.

Anyways, he's a sweet guy - as long as I'm in a good mood - and help put him in a good mood. Otherwise he's kind of an impatient jerk. He's really rough around the edges, unlike anyone I have ever dated.

He goes back and forth between telling me how worried he is that I'm going to leave him for someone else because I have a great job and work at a big nice company... and then being rude/ saying something spiteful if I voice something he did that upset me (for example, he doesn't have a car and I let him drive mine... then he was weaving in and out of traffic at 95 miles an hour at night... in a 65 zone. I yelled at him to slow down and not drive recklessly... and then he got angry at me for yelling and he said something spiteful to me. Then he said the argument should have been over when HE said it was over and when he was no longer feeling upset with me yelling.

Any argument is basically him saying something rude or insensitive, me calling him out, him getting defensive and turning it on me, and then me debating about flipping out on him or giving him the silent treatment.

What is your take on this behavior, and/ or have you dealt with anything like this? Or anyone making you doubt yourself?


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • WHY ARE YOU WITH HIM? Is he hot?

    • Lol yes he is hot... and he has a fun personality, makes me laugh, can be really sweet most of the time (at least to me), and basically wants to be a "house husband" (tiding up the apartment while I'm at work, helping take care of my cats, cleaning out the litter box, etc).

      I have never met anyone who has "normal" qualifications (college education, stable corporate job, emotionally stable, classy) and also a good personality/ is fun to spend time with.

    • Show All
    • LOL... Sorry, but you are literally making me laugh with your comments :) And I mean that in a good way... You're right - yes, all I could go on was his picture (no idea of anything else about him). Then we got to talking over text and the phone, and he seemed great. It wasn't until LATER that I found out about everything, after I already liked him. NORMALLY had I been in pretty much any other situation, I would never had met him.

    • He may have BPD...

What Girls Said 2

  • YES. I became completely unrecognizable. He had to go lol

  • He sounds like he has borderline personality disorder... this is a tough type to date. I wish you the bestm