I need some freedom, my boyfriend wants schedules. What should I do?

I'm a free spirit. I prefer to live life on a breeze, going wherever my heart tells me and learning as much about this tiny little world as I possibly can before I end up its ground. What I want in a relationship is someone who I can have as a single constant in an endless universe of change, someone who can stay by my side and float on the breeze of life next to me.

And I thought I had found someone like that!

But now I’m realizing he’s a bit of a stickler for the rules.

Every time there is the slightest change in day to day life, he starts to freak out and have anxiety attacks. We have the same lunch at school, and every time I so much as switch tables for a day he totally freaks. He gets all jittery and impatient, like he’s afraid I’m going to decide I don’t like him anymore in the 15 minutes that I spend talking with my friends instead of him, which is ridiculous!

He tells me that he doesn’t like change, and that he would be comfortable if I spent every lunch with him like I did when we first started dating, because that’s what he’s used to. And, even though it’s not that big of a request on his part, I’m starting to feel a little suffocated. I need change to survive, or else I start feeling depressed and oppressed by repitition, which leads to rebellion and dangerous behaivor, which leads down some dark roads that I rather not walk.

It’s getting to the point where he and his strict schedule adherence has an uncomfortable amount of control on MY life. I need change to survive, or else I get bored and fidgety, but he doesn’t get that, no matter how many times I explain it.

I really like him, I do, and I want to make this relationship work. I just don’t know how to get across to him what I need, and I don’t want to upset him or freak him out.

Please, if anyone has been in this situation before, help!


Most Helpful Guy

  • You're not compatible and neither will change or compromise because its who each of you are. This is a huge difference in character


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What Guys Said 2

  • Congrats to your Third parent.

    If you had to ask what should i do then you aren't happy obviously You need to talk to him about it on how Overprotective he is, the fact that he thinks you won't like him just by moving tables and talking to people (You have probably known longer than him) is ridiculous. He does sound inexperienced and if he doesn't agree to your terms of freedom and that breeze you want to live on you should part ways. If it is meant to be you guys can work it out :)

  • This relationship isn't going to last, I can tell you that.


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