Girl I was dating said I was coming on a little strong, is this a cop out or the truth? (See text message at the bottom)?

I met this girl online about 4 weeks ago. We went out on a first date and had an amazing time. She actually ended up coming over and spending the night. We watched hours of our favorite tv show, but didn't have sex because it was the first date. We eventually had sex on a different date

After that we hung out pretty frequently. She initiated a lot, asking how my day was, bringing me food, etc. We were essentially acting like girlfriend and boyfriend, but I was mostly following her lead as far as how much contact we'd have with each other. The texts were fairly even and I called her maybe 5 times in that month (mostly just to confirm plans or talk for a bit).

She got a puppy not too long ago and her job I guess is pretty stressful. So she got busy. But we'd still text. I think when we met, she had just gotten out of a relationship not too long ago.

Then one night this text conversation happened:

Her: Do you think we're dating?

Me: Well I mean we've been going out on dates and all. What do you feel?

Her: I feel like the amount of calls and the texting are beyond where we actually are at this point. I don't mean that in a harsh way... it just feels intense after such little time.

Me: Is that why you've been backing off lately?

Her: I'm not backing you've just been coming on a little strong.

Me: Look, I didn't at all think we were at "that" stage. I just enjoyed hanging out with you. We spent a lot of time together early on so I thought everything was cool and that was the norm. I really didn't mean to come off that way, but it seemed like you were doing the same with me so I thought everything was cool. Wish you would've just mentioned it before. I had a lot of fun with you, I'll respect it if you don't want to talk again.

No response from her and it's been about 5 days. I got pissed off because we were texting the same amount to each other!

So it seemed like within a few days she pulled back and said that I was the one coming on too strong. She made plans for us to go to a pro football game two months from now! I don't think I was acting out of the ordinary. I don't know what happened :(
Kind of broken up over it. It's been on my mind for days :/


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  • ... she wanted something casual. Perhaps a friend with benefits.

    • What makes you think that... just curious

    • Show All
    • ...3 weeks before the date there was a picture with her ex? hmm, sounds like she jumped the gun too quick. Yet, it all depends who broke up with you. If he broke up with her, then it's more than likely she still has feelings. I suggest you not over think it because it sounds like she just wants something casual.

    • But her texting that means she WAS NOT interested in being my girlfriend, or at least thought I was moving too fast, right?

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