How would you react if your girlfriend told you she was sexually abused?

I'm dating this guy that I really like a lot. We haven't had sex but lately he's initiating it. I've been stalling because I'm not sure if i should tell him about the sexual abuse in my past first. In one of my previous relationships I did not mention it before we had sex but it came up in conversation later. He completely flipped out and was yelling at me saying that I should have told, he had the right to know, and that "I tricked him into victimizing me again". That last part was literally his exact words and I still don't understand till this day. A day later he called and apologized but it still bothered me so I stopped talking to him. I really don't want to let my past screw up my relationship with this new guy and he might feel the same way about me not telling him. I'm afraid if I tell him now he won't want to have sex with me and I know he' ll start treating me different. He already does extra sweet stuff and the last thing I want is to be treated like I'm weak or fragile. My apartment building has a mice problem and a couple weeks ago I could have swore I saw a mouse run in my closet. I hate mice and I was so scared that I couldn't sleep. Since we talk on the phone almost every night when he called I told him about it and he said that he would come over and kill the mouse so I could sleep since I had work in the morning. It was 2am and he came over but there was no mouse. I was so embarrassed but he just laughed it off and he actually spent the night. He tried to have sex with me but I told him I wasn't ready and I know he was really bummed about it. This is an example of the crazy sweet things he does and im afraid he'll just go overboard if I tell him. He might even decide that he doesn't want to talk to me anymore because I'm to damaged or something because. Please give me advice on what to do and was that guy right about him deserving to know? What would be your reaction if your girlfriend said she was sexually abused?


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  • He should know and I'd be sympathetic


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