I've watched many of my friends tie the knot over the past 10 years but none have affected me as much as my cousin's wedding to my ex-bestfriend this past weekend.
The reason why it affected me so much was because I was bestfriends with this girl, and she was dating my cousin. I was stuck in between two people yanking me from each side complaining to me all the time about how awful the other is. The first year that they were sleeping together consisted of my ex-bestfriend stalking my cousin and him calling me going crazy. She would show up at his place unannounced and would refuse to leave and behave very crazy. She would also constantly complain about him to me and everyone who would listen. He treated her so badly and talked so much crap about her.. she had no idea.
After a year of her stalking him they became an "official" couple (WTF? exactly what I thought!). The next 4 years consisted of him cheating on her with other girls and telling me about it. Eventually I had to distance myself from the both of them because they were so crazy in their dysfunctional relationship I had to get away.. so I kind of cut them both off and no longer speak to either of them.
This past weekened we celebrated their wedding and what a god damned FARCE! They started talking about how they met (some weird made up story) and who said I love you first (again, another made up story)... where were the stories about her stalking him for a year? Or him cheating on her over and over again? Or the story about when she said I love you and he said "I don't"? Just so many lies... LOL.. and I have other friends in dysfunctional relationships too, and this.. and omg.. I don't know if I EVER want to date thanks to these people.
It just makes me wonder, how much would you really put up with just to be in a relationship? Would you turn a blind eye to your partner cheating? Would you stay with someone who continues to disrespect you or talk shit about you to everyone? Would you settle for a girl who constantly stalks you and makes it impossible to leave her? What drives people to stay in situations like these?
Most Helpful Girl
I hear you. Unfortunately, society makes people feel like if they aren't married by the time they're 35, they're doomed and will end up alone. Now I don't know everything about how your cousin and ex best friend are aside from what you posed, but it seems that they are settling and probably are getting married because although they don't love each other, they are too prideful to see the other with someone else. One of my bf's friends is going through the same thing. They were together all through college, shit talked each other to their friends, cheated on each other constantly, but are engaged. It's sad, but I think that people are too afraid to let go. They will realize it eventually years down the road.. you know after they buy the house (because they should) and have kids (because it's what you're supposed to do). In my opinion, society gives everyone the wrong image. People get scared and end up settling and believe they are happy. It's better to be with someone and not happy that alone, right? It's sad. Then you hear that something must be wrong with you if you're not married or have kids by a certain age. I'm 25 and get asked "when are you having kids?" "you don't have kids yet?" "I guess you don't want children". The truth is, no, I'd much rather be in a healthy and happy relationship instead of faking it to look good for others. Sadly a lot of people see it differently1