How hopeless is my situation?

I've never dated much and I've been insecure about women most of my life. Twi years after my marriage ended I've been worse than ever. It seems that to get over my insecurity I would need to get out there and meet women. But emotionally healthy women don't like guys who are insecure. Am I doomed to be caught in this Catch-22, so there's no point?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Insecure in what way? About what kind of things?

    • About friends, dating, relationships, just lacking confidence in general.

Most Helpful Guy

  • What makes you insecure about yourself? Secondly, you need to be okay with being single; don't pressure yourself to depend on someone else to make you happy. You have the power to make yourself happy.

    • I don't know what makes me like that exactly, I just lack trust in myself I guess. I am ok with being single, after my marriage ended two years ago I am in no rush to get tied down. In fact that's one thing I'm afraid of, since in the past I've always gotten too serious too quickly and I don't want to make that mistake again. But the result is I avoid everything.

    • Show All
    • If only I know what's best for me, why do I continually make decisions that hurt me?

    • I think you programmed yourself to believe that you deserve bad things or you don't deserve happiness. The fact is you don't need a woman to make you happy.

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 1

  • You know something? If you aren't confident, just 'pretend' to be confident! This may sound like bad advice, but it isn't.

    People always advice us to 'get confidence', but they don't understand that it can't just be 'got' like that. But pretending to be confident is not hard at all. And eventually, this 'fake' confidence will turn into real confidence.

    Trust me, it works! So your situation isn't even half as hopeless as you think. Just go out, meet women, talk to them with your 'fake' confidence, and you'll likely taste success sooner than you think! :)

    • I have heard of this and I have even tried it. It's good in the short term for meetings, shopping, making small talk etc., but eventually it always breaks down in the long run.

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