I'm falling for my friend with benefits. It's devastating?

I have been seeing a guy as a friends with benefits arrangement for 7 months. Tried to keep it cool but finally the feelings train has come into the station. We have gone about this all wrong in the sense that for the 7 months I have always stayed the night when we see each other. He cooks me breakfast. We go on dates. We spend time with each others families. Etc. I was getting the impression that he felt the same way but two nights ago he made it clear that he could never see any future with me because of my family situation (I'm a single mum and he has known my sons dad for many years). In other words he is saying he doesn't feel bad sleeping with me but wouldn't feel right being a step dad to his ex friends child.
I am so upset. The one thing I can't change is who my son is. Nor would I want to but I can't get this guy out of my head!
Any suggestions for moving on when your feelings are super strong?


Most Helpful Guy

  • He can fuck you but do the morally correct thing and marry you is weird? What a fucking piece of shit. You're not losing anything

    • Morally correct? Most single mom will be glad to tell you she's not looking for a new baby daddy and it seems like his intentions were always clear.

    • Show All
    • What's Bullshit is the premis that single parents can't have casual sex without requiring a ring on their finger.

    • It was blurred. His family call me his girlfriend. He never has. We never had the define the relationship talk and as such I assumed he saw me as more of a friends with benefits. It never worried me until recently when I realised he was on my mind way too much.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Use your brain/logic more. You are both interested in different things. He is interested in hooking up with you, while you want something more.
    It cannot work. He already told you he doesn't see a future with you. You should break your friends with benefits situation and you should focus on other things in your life.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • A lucky guy who's ready to pack his shits and then going back to his home. I thought both parties have to discuss before doing it for long term? Oh God, Ya, he has told you her expectation. And the reality is, he can't promise what you want at the moment. What you're gonna do? We know it's hard to move on and you ain't going to torture him with a chainsaw don't you?

    • No chainsaws will be used lol. I will make a quiet exit but i am feeling a bit heartbroken.

    • Yes. I would be sinked into if i have a friends with benefits atm.
      I know your feelings, he has been taking you out for dates, listen to you, showing empathy at some point. But we have to know ''what's your outcome''. If the reality doesn't match your ''outcome'', we gonna have the strength to stand up for ourselves and move on.
      ''Hey, shawn.. we've been hanging together for 7 months, absolutely we felt close together for this time. But I started to fall in love with you. And since we both don't have a mutual agreement. I think it's better for us to not seeing each other anymore. Have a great day, hope you find another one.''

  • Sorry but you did this to yourself. And that's messed up to try and make him be in a serious relationship and act like a father to those kids if from the very beginning he's been honest with you about just being friends with benefits.

    • I'm not trying to make him do anything. I'm trying to get him out of my head because he can't give me what I need. And he never said friends with benefits that is just how I would describe it.

What Girls Said 1

  • Well, you need to focus on what he's saying whether than his actions. Move on. Any man you date has to accept your child and he has made it clear that he is uncomfortable with you being a mother. As for moving on and how: everyone has there ways. Going on dates, finding a new hobby. Eating chocolate. cease communication with him.

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