How can you tell if someone is truly too busy to see you or has lost interest and won't admit it?

It's a semi casual relationship of one year but for most of the year we had sleepovers 3x/week. I was satisfied with that. He always had two demanding jobs on weekends. 2 months ago he started seeing me only on weekends. He said work was so hectic with the new semester teaching a Masters course that he didn't have the time or energy to see me on work nights. We're a 20 min walk apart. I used to come over if he was exhausted until his brother began crashing at his 1 bedroom apt. That also started 2 months ago. So I'm hoping that's part of it. He hasn't felt comfortable with me there unless the brother is away. I explained how I felt and he seemed so sincere that I believed his explanations. Now I'm not sure. Last weekend he told me he won't be able to see me this week because he has the 26 mi NYC marathon this weekend (local to us), volunteering related to the marathon Thur and Fri night, an audit tomorrow (Thur). And the days he's free he'd rather crash and unwind. So he's ok with going 2 weeks without seeing me? Why not unwind with me? Let me pick him up? I have a car. Why not let me support him during the marathon? Treat him to a pre-race or post race dinner? Or meet him with a care pack? So he wants to do it alone? Isn't that weird? Then again in Nov 2014 he was so focused on marathon weekend that he was way less communicative. So maybe it's how he is. He seems very much into me on our weekend dates which run from 9pm till 2pm the next day. I don't mind as long as it's temporary but I'm worried that he's not being honest. How can I tell if he's truly busy or losing interest and not admitting it?

Correction: He had 2 demanding jobs on weekDAYS. He has weekends off.


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  • I've had this problem. Turns out he was just too busy. We still talk as friends (no sex) to this day

    • But do you think he could have made time if he really wanted to?

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    • His cold has been going on for almost 2 weeks? Okaaaay. Sure.

    • Yeah girl... do your own thing. Maybe he'll realize that you have value and he needs to treat you as such. does he have ebola or what?;lol