When am II allowed to say enough is enough and step in telling my man that his baby mom can't run our life?

I ask because I have been with my man for 6 months and I have an 8 year old daughter. He has a 3 year old that he has custody of and mom sees him every other weekend. There have been a few events that have gone on around the town where hisbaby mom lives. I've wanted to go to a few of them with him and the kids. He would tell me he would love to but he doesn't want to run into her and he would rather avoid her at all costs but if I wanted to take my daughter then I could. I tell him every time that its OK and we can find other things to go do with the kids but I thought the kids might enjoy these events. He apologizes and says stuff like I would love to but you know she lives up there. It sucks because the town she lives in is a popular town that is always trying to do things. It just sucks because I don't want to have to keep avoiding all the fun stuff or the town because of the fact that he MIGHT run into her. I mean if we stay together further down the road he can't keep saying oh you take the kids and go without me. He can't let her run our lives but I feel its too soon to say anything like that and is going to cause a big argument and I feel like its unfair to me and the kids that they can't go do certain things becausevshe MIGHT happen to be there because she lives in the town. What do I do because I understand his side but its also frustrating on my side because he won't go or bring his son knowing she might be tgere and he could run into her plus its not fair to me and the kids. so what do I say and when do I say something if at all ever because if things work out long term she is a part of my mans life whether he likes it or not and he can't keep avoiding the town or the events espically when its for the kids just because she MIGHT be there. I don't know if I explained this right.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Your point was long but made. He's a pussy and needs to grow a pair. Tell him things will change or you're gone

    • I haven't actually told him any of how I feel about this yet! Plus since we've only been together for 6 months I don't feel like its my place to say anything yet. I feel its still not my right and the relationship is still to new.

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    • I do have a right but how much and am I being wrong about how I feel in this situation? Then again when it comes yo the baby mom my man is always telling everyone that they never see his side and no one understands but in reality I understand perfect because I would love to avoid my daughters father at all costs but I'm not going to let him run my life and just because he may be there oh well... its a public place. I'll get over it but my mans baby mom doesn't like me so he also wants to avoid the drama because he says if she sees me she may try to run her mouth. Who knows

    • Your feelings aren't right or wrong, its how you feel. Tell him just what you told me about your ex. This needs to be discussed now

Most Helpful Girl

  • Take your kid and go

    • That's doable now but what if we get married? I wouldn't do that then... and he can't let her run his life or mine or ours as a couple but he does because she may possibly be at a public event so he won't go and neither can his son. That's going to be a problem if we end up getting married... just saying. So what do I say to him if anything? I mean I get why he wants to avoid her but that's no way to live your life and anyway he sees her every other weekend when his son goes for visitation and he says that's different because he has no choice of seeing her or not seeing her.

    • You're not married right now though. I believe if you do your own thing he will come around and see it your way. Especially when your kid is having so much fun, his kid is gonna want to come too. Then he would look stupid saying no.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You explained it perfectly. I am in a similar situation. Let me tell you something. I don't know what the mother did but it had to be REALLY BAD because courts NEVER give custody to the father if they can help it.

    • So what do I do about the fact that as long as he knows she MIGHT be at a public event then why do we have to avoid it? I mean I understand why he would want to go but he can't let what she may or may not decide to do or go to dictate whether we go with the kids or not. So what do I do or say if anything

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    • Because he won't go. He refuses because he said if he sees her and espically with me there then there is going to be major drama. She doesn't like the fact that I spend more time with her son and I think in a way she is jealous of me. She might even think I'm trying to play mommy but I'm not and my man already knows that and has explained that to her so I have no idea. He just wants to avoid the drama but I want us to be able to have a life!!!

    • When I said rhat she had probabdone something pretty bad, then maybe this is what she does. Maybe she assaults people. Find out.

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