Did they lose interest because I wasn't interesting enough, or because they though I wasn't interested?

So the two last times I was talking to guys it ended because they suddenly stoped showing as much interest as they did to begin with which made me think they lost any interest they had for me.

The first guy:
Met him on a dating app, very great guy, we went on two dates.. after the second date he stoped messaging me (pretty sure it has linked to the fact that I rejected a kiss on the first date, but initiated it on the first date )

The second guy:
Met him at a bar, made out, stayed in touch and he really wanted to meet me again, we met two days later, talked everyday , he invited me to a date-ish thing, but I had to cancle. We talked and he suddenly went from being very involved to using ages to answer me.

At first I Just assumed I did or said something that made them lose interest, but then I though about it and now I think that maybe they lost interest because they though I wasn't interested in them ( they made the effort to ask me out the two first times)

I actually planned to ask the second guy out, but he stoped showing as much interest around that time so I never did. So both guys messaged me a lot to begin with..


Most Helpful Guy

  • First guy:
    -Why did you reject the guy's kiss on the first date? Are you having set of ''dating rules'' Are you structured person? Personally, I may be turn off by the fact of it since we both having a great time.
    -Did he catch your clues ie, you smiled to him, physical proximity, touching him before he tried to kiss you? It may be awkward if he suddenly kisses you but there were no signs from you that you ''allow'' him to kiss you.

    Second guy:
    -Did you reschedule with him when you cancel? For me, if a girl doesn't counter offer me another date, I will take it as a low sign of romantic interest and moved on.

    • First guy: For some reason I Just lost my attraction towars him.. I have nu clue why, I mean I was really attracted to him on the first date.. but I Just didn't feel it the second date.. And for me it was obvious that he wanted a kiss.. he Would look at me and rest his head on my shoulder and play bite me etc

      Second guy: no I didn't reschedule. I was planning to ask him later the following week to go to this event.. And the following week his friend was staying at his place so I assumed he wouldn't have time for me.. that the reason I waited to ask him out.. I wanted to do it when I knew his was available

    • First guy: Then I could say you ain't ''feeling'' it, and he seemed force the thing to kiss you where no romantic signs from you are being given. That's why u lost attraction because he appeared easy, needy so to speak.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Not enough info. Did you ever show any active interest in either of these guys (initiating convo, initiating dates, paying for something) or did you just show passive interest (simply replying to the guy, simply agreeing to grace the guy with your presence)?

    • I would initiate convos, but with the first guy I only started a convo once ans with the other guy I was more active, but I never asked neither of them out... but like I said I was planning to ask the second guy out, but he stoped showing interest before I had a chance basically

  • They definitely lost interest but it's hard to say if it was because they found you uninteresting or because they thought you lost interest. It could go either way.

    • The first guy I lost interest in after the second date, so I didn't really care that he didn't take contact again.

      The second guy was really cute, didn't get to know him that well though.. And I thought he liked me, so it was a bummer when I suddenly didn't hear from him..

      I like to think it was because they though I lost interest. . Its better for my self esteem lol

      So there is no way to tell which one it is?

  • because they thought you weren't interested. yes, it's really that simple. or they came to the realization that you smell like cheese. you know better than us what you smell like..

    • So is there any turning back for guy nr. 2? We haven't spoke since late September or something.. And I took a shower and added perfume before all four dates.. so I think its not the lather unless my clothes smelled like cheese and I didn't realise lol

    • Show All
    • But is there no point really? And I did after all act cold when he sendt me a "how are you " message. . And he unfriended me on Facebook m. You dont think thats a sign that he isn't interested anymore? And lett say it goes well.. We still dont live close to eachother. . And adding him into my life atm is making my situation even harder since I have so many exames right now.. I know he will take a lot of my time

    • it seems to me that your mind and your heart are conflicting with each other. i know how that feels too, i think.. i guess you will have to wait and see when you visit home then?

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