How can a guy with social anxiety improve his dating odds?

I have this. I get nervous approaching people but I can do that if needed. I have trouble keeping conversation, it's hard to relate to others with "normal" lives and I don't have much to be proud of so I run out of things to say and overthink everything.

im finished with school and college and unemployed, I have no friends and I'm not much of a drinker at bars. I don't know how I could pick up girls with limited social experience/activities. or find a place to meet girls when im always by myself and this might scare them. Online dating has been no help.

Usually guys meet girls at jobs, school, or out with friends at a bar or club, I don't have these situations as options so I'm clueless how I can start meeting anyone. Unless the grocery store is a great pick up place I'm screwed.

More opinions?


Most Helpful Girl

  • While it is important to have social experience, a job, etc. some women are just looking for a good guy. I think confidence is key and there are many ways to overcome social anxiety. You seem like a nice guy but you will need improved social skills in order to find someone. Also, in terms of location, it's true that you're going to need to get out more. You're not going to meet anyone if you just go to one place.

    • I go new places every once in a while, like a music concert, but usually it's food shopping once a week sometimes clothing stores or pet store, all places usually are not good for social talking if I do talk it's cut short because other people are in a hurry to go home or wherever they need to go. For example, in the pet store I have talked to a few people, I love animals and I'm very knowledgable about them, I have talked about them with others needing pet advice and in very confident about that, however I've never made a friend or found a girl wanting to date me from that conversation. It's rough 😕

Most Helpful Guy

  • you have to throw yourself into uncomfortable situations to overcome it


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • I would say to give online dating another shot or maybe try reconnecting with people from high school or college. You could also find a low-key job that doesn't require too much social interaction, such as a busser at a restaurant or something. It may help you meet new people.

    • The online dating is probably hopeless I've tried more than 5 places over 3 years, not one contact or date or anything and I've sent SO many messages to girls I lost count. They really look at guys looks and salary on those sites and only pick the best, who can blame them right?
      I've tried reconnecting with high school classmates through Facebook most don't live here anymore and those that do had no interest in me I tried to meet up or keep in contact through messaging and they never answered. Many "lost crushes" on their too all who are married now.

      The job is the only thing I don't have but honestly many places need social interaction and cashier both I suck at.

    • Show All
    • Not sure if I'd meet many people on the night shift though.

      I've tried long distance dating in my country but one girl I liked admitted she only wanted to date people in her state and I think that's easier too. Not saying I wasn't open to it but it would be very difficult not seeing the person only talking online and calling that a relationship.

    • That's true. And another option for a job, we have certain gas station chains with food and such. I work at one (just a small job to help with college) and I work 5am to 10am just brewing coffee and doing dishes. And I've met quite a few people doing it who pass through every morning to get coffee. If you have one of those and don't mind picking up like 5 pound canisters of coffee then it may work too.

What Guys Said 0

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