Been dating for five months but we haven't had the talk Should I initiate it?

I've been seeing this guy for almost five months, met him online. I've met his friends and his brother a few months ago (he introduced me just by my name, but they all knew some basic facts about me and spent time trying to get to know me; the words "dating" to refer to us have only been uttered by them). He's met some of my friends. We see each other 1-2 week as we don't live too close and both have active lives. He plans 80% of the dates (I think I've planned 1-2) and they range from netflix-and-chill, to trying new restaurants, concerts... A nice variety. He remembers little things (my favourite food, which he then cooks for me, for example). We have opened up about a few things here and there (he told me about his dad who was having a mental health breakdown). The sex has been really good too. And I'm really enjoying spending time with him and I'm at a point where I've genuinely like him.
The only but is we have never discussed either exclusivity or what we want from each other. I'm not seeing other guys at the moment (I don't think he's seeing other girls, his online profile hasn't been active in 3-4 months, but I don't know for sure). We also haven't discussed previous relationships.

Should I have a quick talk with him, to see if we're on the same page? I want a relationship with him now, and I'm afraid that the fact that it's been five months and he hasn't said anything means he is just not that into me or enjoying getting the milk for free without buying the cow, to be crude. Suggestions?


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  • Of course you should initiate the conversation and DTR. Him not having done so doesn't necessarily mean he's not interested in more than just the physical. He could be really shy, or just trying to be really respectful and not wanting to rush you.

    It sounds like you're pretty sure of where you want to go with him though. Bring it up! Otherwise you'll remain in the grey area for an indefinite amount of time and I know from experience, that's no fun!