How to ask a guy the dreadful "what are we"? Or do you feel it should never even be asked?

Came back from college this summer and started talking to a guy from my highschool. We never hungout in high school but through a mutual friend we started hanging out all summer. We spent all summer together and what felt like a relationship but was too soon to be exclusive once summer ended. It was the start of his first year at a four year so i figured it would not be smart to be in a relationhsip until we saw how things went once school started. We talk everyday but do not bring up the idea of a relationship. I hate even thinking of havibg to ask the what are we question and i try to avoid it at all costs bc it sound so clingy. But after talking since July, I feel asking in a casual way is necessary and i deserve to know. It seems like that question has become somthing that people freak out over and i just want to ask casually but dont know how?


Most Helpful Guy

  • It is the wrong question to ask. What you want to ask is, "are you dating others at school? Do you want me to date others while you are away? Do you think we are at a point where she should promise exclusivity to each other?" What you call the relationship is not important. What agreements and expectations you have is very important.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Is there sex involved? Not to be personal but he might think this is a NSA deal.

    • Yeah we've had sex 3 times and not since we left for school. He was basically a virgin when we started talking.

    • And we still talk everyday since school started 2 months ago, so I don't know i dont think sex has anything o do with it bc he's never really cared about that before and isn't like most guys in that sense.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Not enough info.

    What social group is / was he in in HS?

    How many male / female friends does he have?

    Is he introverted or extroverted?


What Girls Said 1

  • Just ask him! Don't over think it! Thats the problem I see to often! Don't be afraid just spill it out it doesn't matter how you may appear just do it.