Is he using me? Please help me, I want to prevent a broken heart?

So I've had a crush on this guy since summer, and actually we attended the same college. I didn't know him before that.
He's in the same classes as two of my old classmates, and they are all three very good friends.
He's a pretty popular guy and he has got a lot of confidence about himself.
So recently we started talking, and it became more and more.
Then one day he offered to help me with my homework, and he helped me VERY well! And he was very patient with me.
Then later that evening we ordered food and he kissed me for the first time.
But the same evening he wanted to sleep with me, and I didn't know what to say so I just let him. I just wanted to sleep and cuddle, but he kept touching me and everything even though I told him not to, and it ended up with him being so desperate, that I gave him a hj and then we fell asleep.
In school, he only smiles when he walks past me and gives me a high five, but we chat allllll the time on facebook and text each other on the phone, and he also calls me a lot just to talk.
We attended a concert aswell, but I was with my friends and he was with his friends, and when I saw him he only briefly hugged me and said he had to find his friends, and then left.
Last night he slept here again, and he was desperate since he entered my house. Like really.
It ended up a bit sexual, but I felt a bit rushed about it because I never did those things before.
But he met my mom and my little brother, and he is SO nice to them. He also wants to be with my little brother all the time (he's only got sisters)
But then last night, he told me while we were half asleep that he didn't want a relationship.
Like wtf?
But he's still texting and calling and treating me as he did before.
What is going on? Please be honest?
Also, he compliments me a lot and talks about me to his friends.

I'm 16 by the way


Most Helpful Girl

  • He has admitted he doesn't want a relationship , so it appears to me that he looks on you as a Friend With Benefits. If that is not what you want then stop having sexual contact with him, or it'll end up in heartache for you.

    If you feel he is using you then you are responsible for it too, because you are allowing him to use you. Honesty is better than false hope, and he was honest with you about not wanting a relationship.

    • Thanks for the upvote.

      He seems a nice guy, but does not want a committed relationship. If he was using you and didn't like you at all , he would lie to you to get what he wanted, then ignore you. I don't think his intentions are to hurt you , because when he said he didn't want a relationship he was open and honest about what he wanted. It's his way of letting you know he considers you as a friends with benefits. I honestly, believe he does like you though. You have to decide if he is worth the risk of heartbreak 💛

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    • He did let you know he. didn't want a relationship , so he may have distanced himself because he knows you want more. I was good friends with a guy, and once he knew I had feelings for him he started to back off. We still talked but it was never the same.

      Even though this didn't bring you what you do want. , it has taught you what you don't want. Good times in life are good memories, the bad times are good lessons. So although it has ended up with you feeling hurt , let this define you in a positive way. You now know a friends with benefits won't work for you , and you will be able to determine a lot better if a guy is going to just want to use you. Once you get through the hurt, you will come out of the situation less vulnerable.

      He is looking for a friends with benefits, you aren't', so tell yourself that you are lucky you aren't't still with a guy you almost settled for. A guy who is probably not a bad person, but a guy who is only looking out for his own happiness rather than wanting to make a girl happy too. Xx💜

    • You are SO inspiring!!!
      I love your positive way of being!
      Thank you so much!!!
      May you have a wonderfull day/night whereever you are!

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Look, compliments are free and worth every penny. It's how he treats you that matters. How has he treated you? He's pushed you to do things you didn't want to do. That's not a friend, it's not friendly, and it's not something a decent man would do. Stay away from him. He may be confident, but that doesn't mean he's decent.

    • He didn't push me to do things, if I would have told him to stop with a really serious tone, he would.
      But thank you

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    • yeah you're right...

    • Guys do not really get that desperate. That's BS. They may want sex, but Ms. Right can take care of that. Remember the story of the camel and the tent.

What Girls Said 1

  • yup. he's using you. he knows he can get away with things because you invited him to your house so easily, he's just going to keep spending the night until he finally gets what he wants. he already openly admit he doesn't want a relationship, i dont know what other sign you need.