Is he just not ready, or is he stringing me along?

I started dating this really great guy a little over 2 months ago. Things were going great, and then we had "The Talk" a month in, which he initiated. Up to this point, we had already been intimate, and we both acted like things were progressing to bf/gf status (i. e. committed relationship). We were seeing each other a couple times a week, going on dates, etc.

He dropped the dreaded, I'm not ready for a committed relationship yet. He felt like we were on different pages, things were progressing too quickly, and the timing was just off. He said he wanted to slow things down.

Up until we met, he said he had just started feeling like his normal self again, like he could be alone (he enjoys his alone time). His last relationship ended badly and she cheated on him. I think a lot of our talk spawned because he saw his ex and her boyfriend together one night, and it really got to him. Made him think, what if it happens again? Am I jumping into things too soon? I understand he's not quite over what happened.

He said he has feelings for me; he's not seeing anyone else (I didn't even ask, he just flat out said it); he deleted his dating profile after our talk, but deleted the app long ago; I'm the type of woman he wants to be with; and he does see a committed relationship with me. He also said that he is going to continue to give me the type of relationship that I want, he just wants us on the same page.

He said "The Talk" was actually a good talk, and he wanted to be honest. We didn't see each other for a couple weeks afterward, but when we did, sparks were flying! haha. We've went on a few more dates since (making dinner together, watching movies, etc.). He even initiated a date night! Things have pretty much been back to normal.

But based on all of this, is he really just not ready yet but he eventually will be, or am I being strung along?

I also forgot to mention that prior to our talk, he initiated good morning texts fairly often and seemed a little more open via text. But since our talk, he has initiated less and less. Keep in mind, that he doesn't text much, has said that he is bad at texting, and he works quite a bit. He's opened up a little bit more since the talk, but it's a gradual process (i. e. kissy emoticons here, etc.)

Is this simply because he is trying to pull back more, slow things down?


Most Helpful Guy

  • yeah, he is just scared. Guys get destroyed after getting cheated. Its probably worse than if a guy cheated on a girl

    • Thanks for this! It really helps, and I agree that he's probably just like, let's back up the bus a little bit, and take it slower.

    • Show All
    • Thanks so much. I don't know what he would miss about her because she is pretty psycho, but I can see where it hurts to see your ex with the man she cheated on you with.

    • He probably doesn't miss her, only the good moments they had. Yes that will crush him seeing her with another guy because it makes you feel like you weren't good enough

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What Girls Said 1

  • I agree with jermainyrn!

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