I am a 24 year old mother of two beautiful boys (can't have anymore) my boys mean the world to me!
I am single and for some reason seem to stay that way once the guy finds out that I have my boys. My question is why do men pull away once they realize I'm a mom? I mean both my boys have fathers and I'm definitely not looking for a new one for them nor do I need any man to help me with them!
I am still young and love to date but my children always are a deal breaker (not that dating is more important than my boys because if you can't accept them then you don't accept me! ) I just want to know what goes through a guys head (age 23-27) when they hear I have children because things can be going great and we can be hitting of swimmingly then my mommy card comes out and the interest suddenly goes away. Any advice or comments would be great unless you wanna tell me to not tell them I am a mommy because that's just not an option!
Most Helpful Guy
Although I'm 33 now, when was in my mid to late 20's, I met a lot of single moms and I dated 2 of them; here is why I realized single moms were not for me:
---Going on a date meant that first, a baby sitter needed to be found and if there was no baby sitter then, what we could do was hang out at her home and most of the times, the time was spent baby sitting the kids, and by the time the kids went to sleep, mommy was looking so tired, that I felt bad hanging around and it was best to leave so she could rest.
---One of the things is I love to do is traveling; previous to the single moms, I dated girls who would love to go on road trips; obviously, I couldn't do that with the single mommies because as you know, most kids have a routine, and going to a place to wander around and do spontaneous things, was definitely not an option; also going on field trips is not as romantic when the kids are around; and , I'm talking about a dating relationship, not a father and mother relationship where field trips are family dates.
---One of the girls I dated that was a single mom---her breakup with the ex was not a friendly one, and hence, a lot of what I heard had to do with the drama going on with the ex, or the past, and of course, the kids always brought up daddy somehow; well, at the time, I didn't have the patience to be compared to daddy, cause I was not a daddy, and kids will always be kids! :)
---As much as you say that you're not looking for a father, and that the kids already have a father, because of whatever reason, kids do get attached; I always have a good time with kids, and it goes to the length that I did feel responsible for those kids. AT the time, I was in school, working full time, and trying to advance in my job career. Many times I would go to my exes house to spend time with her, but I didn't have the patience to play with the kids or pay them attention, but I know that has a negative effect on them, so I did my best to entertain those kids, but inside of me I thought, 'i don't have the time and patience for this. I can't be doing this. "
----So after having dated single girls that had no kids, and after dating single moms, I decided: With so many beautiful, single women out there, why complicate my life with a single mom when there are all these single women out there that don't have any kids?
Easy choice, as you can see.