I am wrongfully judged all the time. How should I handle guys who judge me?

I feel like every time I meet a guy I like he always things wrong of me. Most of these guys don't even take the time to get to know me and I don't know what they judge me from because I don't use social media and I keep to myself a lot. It takes me time before I feel comfortable with someone to open up, and most of the time guys prefer texting over real dates, so I guess they judge me through texting.

I find it really hurtful. For example one guy told me he stopped talking to me because he knows that I'm the type of girl who would leave him in 10 years. One guy I was seeing cut me off before I went on a vacation and when I confronted him about it he said "well you were going on vacation I'm sure you were going to sleep with a bunch of guys anyway".

Other guys judged me saying they were looking for a serious relationship and I don't seem like I'd be a good caregiver.

These are just some examples. In reality, I'd be a great mother if I ever had to be. I've had lots of pets who all lived past their age expectancy and were very well taken care of (even my Vets were impressed with how well I took care of my furry & feathery babies).

I'm very loyal and I would never cheat. I would never leave anyone without trying really hard to make it work first (unless if it was cheating, I couldn't forgive someone who cheats on me or does something equally as bad such as emotional/physical abuse).

I don't sleep around. So even though I travel a lot that doesn't mean I'll take a guy home or go home with a guy. That has never happened!

So now I'm talking to a guy I really like and he made a comment that was rather hurtful and judgmental.. and I'm thinking, how do I handle this? Should I say something to him? This time I defended myself, but I feel like it sounds fake. Like I just said what I said to make myself seem good to him.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Sometimes in life you need to weed through a lot of "no's" (guys that are no good for you) before you find the "Yes" (a guy that doesn't judge you like that and treats you well)

    Where are you meeting these guys?

    • I meet them all very randomly... the guy who told me I would leave him in 10 years was someone I used to work with. The guy I'm talking to now I met while on vacation in another city. Every time it's been quite different...

    • I know you said you're not much of a social media person, but have you considered trying online dating on one of the match sites that's geared more towards serious relationships than short-term hookups?
      This way you might be more likely to meet guys who are looking for the same kind of relationship that you want?
      Might be a worthwhile investment, at least to give it a try :-)

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What Guys Said 3

  • You are just fishing in a pond filled with stupid fish.
    You sound great ! Just be yourself.
    Maybe look at how you get your guys and try something else.

  • Traveling would be a big problem for me.

    • Why? I travel 2 to 3 times a year... not sure why it's a problem?

    • Show All
    • It is hard on families to travel with each other as well. @asker They have lives you know. They have jobs and school. Their lives don't revolve around yours. It has to be a team thing. They probably won't go with you to another country and it would be hard on the family.

    • I think you are getting too narrow-minded about this. You are talking as though I would behave the same way when I am married with children as I am now. This is what I mean about people being too judgmental. I wouldn't get married and have children if I wasn't ready to. And being ready means that I understand I would need to adjust my lifestyle to have a family. Meaning traveling less, and going to places that are suitable for children, and going somewhere my partner would also want to go to, and choosing a time that is convenient for everyone. This is what I'm talking about.. people making assumptions...

  • Everyone gets wrongfully judged all the time. Get used to it.


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